Do You Want Natural Childbirth?
Why I did it
When I gave birth to my children, I chose natural childbirth all three times. With my first child, I had no idea how painful it would be. After twelve hours of labor, I remember it being so bad at one point that I was sure the birth had to be imminent. Let down doesn’t explain how I felt when I learned I was just three centimeters dilated!
Whenever I hear other moms who had natural childbirth discuss their childbirth experience, it often echoes my thoughts way back from my first labor experience: I might not make it through because the pain became so heightened.
Many describe the delivery as excruciating, some even go as far as to say they thought they didn’t know how they would handle it once it got intense, and in the moment wondered ‘How do women do this?’
Luckily, many of us get a second wind and remember that if other women have done it for thousands of years, we can, too. I have never been a wimp in the pain department and I thought that if others did it, I could do it too.
I wanted to be fully present without having to feel drowsy or delusional from medication. Yet when the pain kicked in with no sight of even being remotely ready to push, I considered an epidural and spoke to the anesthesiologist.
My doctor advised against an epidural
The anesthesiologist questioned me about my headache past and informed me that an epidural could bring on more headaches or a very long headache after the birth. The last thing I wanted to do was have more or worse migraines, so I decided against it.
Eventually, my daughter was born at the 18-hour mark without pain medication.
By my second and third pregnancies, I knew I wanted to experience natural childbirth again because, despite the pain, it was a beautiful experience that I will never forget. I felt amazing right after giving birth, could walk, was not drowsy, and had no need for any pain medication.
I also remember going to the hospital the second and third time in labor and knowing exactly what I was in for that day.
It was better in the sense that I knew exactly what to expect, but it was also much worse simply because I did know exactly what to expect.
On the upside, each subsequent pregnancy ended in a shorter labor. My second daughter was born after just five hours and my son was born in a little over three hours of active labor.
I wonder what would an epidural have been like
I confess I do contemplate what childbirth would have been like with an epidural. I have heard so many fabulous accounts of labor with an epidural.
I used to watch A Baby Story on TLC and see the mothers talking and joking while in active labor, even when pushing the babies out and I was truly amazed. By the time I reached the transition phase, I was completely unable to speak. I was grunting and screaming on and off, and squeezing the bedpost. I’ve also heard from other moms who said that although they were prone to headaches, the epidural didn’t worsen them so I likely could have had one.
My advice to any soon-to-be mom is that like many things in pregnancy, and even more in parenting, there is rarely a right or wrong answer for every individual. You do your homework, rely on your doctor or midwife, and do the best you can. Make a plan but feel free to change your mind, in the moment, too.
