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PARENTING | MOTHERHOOD
Lies Moms Believe: #9 I’m Weak
The hard truth about the time I kicked a hole in the wall
I couldn’t believe what I had just done. The final straw fell upon my weary back and I was past the point of return. After five and a half years of being a full-time mom, I could no longer hold it all in or all together.
I cracked.
The stranglehold of stress and perfectionism that had held me captive imploded. The instant I put a large hole in the wall, I felt a surging relief. But just as quickly, that relief morphed into shame, guilt, and self-condemnation.
I’m a failure. A complete and total failure.
What happened to me? What have I become? Is there any way to go back? Back to the person I once was?
My five-year-old son was playing loudly with his garbage truck in the hallway. He was just outside the room where I was nursing my infant. I was exhausted and trying to rest in the rocking chair, doing my best to block out his enthusiastic sound effects and role-playing.
My precious two-year-old came into the room and stopped beside the rocker. With a little grin on her face, she looked up at me. Her big blue eyes and button nose made me grin back despite my weariness. I still…