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PARENTING | MOTHERHOOD

Lies Moms Believe: #9 I’m Weak

The hard truth about the time I kicked a hole in the wall

9 min readOct 31, 2024

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A woman sitting on her kitchen floor, looking frazzled, drinking wine.
Photo by Zachary Kadolph on Unsplash

I couldn’t believe what I had just done. The final straw fell upon my weary back and I was past the point of return. After five and a half years of being a full-time mom, I could no longer hold it all in or all together.

I cracked.

The stranglehold of stress and perfectionism that had held me captive imploded. The instant I put a large hole in the wall, I felt a surging relief. But just as quickly, that relief morphed into shame, guilt, and self-condemnation.

I’m a failure. A complete and total failure.

What happened to me? What have I become? Is there any way to go back? Back to the person I once was?

My five-year-old son was playing loudly with his garbage truck in the hallway. He was just outside the room where I was nursing my infant. I was exhausted and trying to rest in the rocking chair, doing my best to block out his enthusiastic sound effects and role-playing.

My precious two-year-old came into the room and stopped beside the rocker. With a little grin on her face, she looked up at me. Her big blue eyes and button nose made me grin back despite my weariness. I still…

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The Parenting Portal
The Parenting Portal

Published in The Parenting Portal

The home of parenting articles written by parents and about parents.

Kelly Gawitt
Kelly Gawitt

Written by Kelly Gawitt

If a walk in the woods and coffee can't fix it, a little whiskey and heart-to-heart talk with Jesus can. Married, mom of 3, and a freelance writer from CT.

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