PARENTING/FAMILY

Older Siblings or Built-In Babysitters?

Where’s the line between chores and parenting responsibilities?

Photo by: Amanda Kirsh From Burst

“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” — Dr. John Trainer

The topic of siblings helping out at home can be surprisingly divisive. One of my daughter’s friends recently admitted she hated having to pitch in so much with her younger sisters while growing up. It made me think about my own family and friends.

I remember a cousin who often asked her older daughter, eight years older than her little sister, to give the younger one a bath. And a Hungarian friend once told me she had two kids back-to-back with her second husband, but she would never expect her firstborn son (from her first marriage and much older than the others) to help raise them. “He didn’t ask for these children,” she said. “I had them for myself and my husband.”

That line stayed with me, probably because I could relate from the other side. I was…