Confusion
A Poem
A web of dreams in my mind,
a broken and battered wish in my soul.
How can my mind be so old and yet I’m so young?
I am only sixteen yet sometimes I feel twenty, thirty, forty
with the weight of the world bearing down on my conscience.
Other times I feel so young and vulnerable
like the ghost of a lost child that cannot rest.
What am I to do with these emotions?
How can I cope?
Sometimes I feel like a girl with a heart so cold and closed to the world that surrounds me.
Once I thought I found pure happiness and eternal bliss but
it died away like a flame long ago, burnt out from a thought that passed me by.
Most of the time I cannot recall my memories. They haunt me like a lost soul.
Once I even thought I had a friend but everyone’s definition of a friend is different.
They are all gone now and I am all alone in this dark world with nothing to keep me here but visions of my past.
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This poem was originally published in Escape magazine in 1993 when I was a senior in high school. My creative writing class created this magazine. I am proud to say that it is still being published today.
