Medium-Inspired Theme Park Rides
Medium is like any theme park, there are good rides and bad rides
Congratulations! You’re a top writer in relationships. But uh oh, someone just rammed you off your pedestal.
Due to the high volume of writers on Medium there is a constant jostling to maintain top writer status. Is there a prize? No. But you’ll spend your days trying to keep others from bumping you out of the game.
The stats drop
What a rush it is to watch your stats rise, rise, rise, only to have a sudden and unexpected drop. While you won’t always have fun, this ride will keep you on your toes as you try to guess which way you’ll go next.
The hall of similarity
It’s unavoidable to not match titles with someone else on Medium. With the sheer amount of writers and the similarities in our lives, someone else is going to have a similar idea to you. No two posts are the same, but they may mirror each other, just a little.
Haunted house (featuring your early posts)
Remember that one thing you wrote along time ago that you try to forget? It’s still there…in the haunted Medium archives.
Take a ride through memory/nightmare lane and revisit those posts with grammatical errors, too many clichés, or that were just plain terrible. But we all have to learn, and these ghastly monsters are just earlier versions of your now better writing. Face your fears and enjoy the ride!
To get a meta experience of the mania that goes into trying to “win” on Medium, the octo-writer replicates that dizzying feeling you get when burnout nears.
Doing 8 things at once should only be an option for the creature this ride is named after, unless you can manage to hang on. Otherwise enjoy a slower ride like the teacups. Honestly there is nothing wrong with the teacups.
Thanks for reading! Check out more Medium-inspired satire below: