The Problem with Pursuing Perfection
Instead of making us better, it makes us unhappy
“The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection.”
— George Orwell
I made two big mistakes today. One personal, one professional. Neither were life- or career-threatening and they are far from the worst mistakes I’ve made in either realm, but they were dumb, careless mistakes that led to awkwardness and confusion. Worst of all, they easily could have been avoided.
So I spent the next few hours with that awful feeling in my stomach, alternating between kicking myself and wishing I could back and undo them.
They are the sorts of mistakes that I pride myself on not doing.
Except I do them. Because I’m human. And imperfect by nature. Which means I’ll do them again.
Logically, I know this. I just wish I could accept it.
The problem with striving for perfection is not that it will never be achieved (although it won’t), but that there is no margin for error. Most perfectionists are control freaks, so when the slightest occurrence — whether it’s your fault or not — throws everything off, it is devastating. You end up dwelling on the small mistakes rather than focusing on the big picture. Instead of having perspective and appreciating all we’ve done, we only look what what we haven’t done and, as a result, we get despondent.
When we are overwhelmed or feel like we’re losing control, we respond by hyperfocusing on the smaller things in our lives that we can manage. This is why so many people clean when they’re stressed. We need to feel like we have a handle on something, no matter how minor or trivial.
Take the elusive perfect credit score, for example. There are people out there that make it their mission to get to 850 — the perfect score — but doing so not only takes a large amount of time and effort, it’s also pointless:
It’s important to understand that if you have a FICO score above 760, you’re going to be getting the best rates and opportunities.
There is no difference between people with scores of 775 or 800 or 825 or the magical 850. So why do some treat it as if it is the Holy Grail? Because it is so rare in our lives, particularly as adults, to achieve perfection in any form.
We’re constantly reminded our our imperfections.
Every performance review includes areas of weakness to address. We smile with a piece of lettuce in our teeth. We send an email to the wrong person. The house needs constant maintenance. We eat that extra doughnut. The kids don’t always listen. We make impulsive purchases. We push on a door that says PULL on it. We say the wrong thing. We skip a workout. We wake up late. We trip in front of a large group of people.
Life is a constant struggle full of hiccups and speed bumps that will happen no matter how many precautions we take and how many lectures we give ourselves. Perfection is unattainable in the long run and it makes us miserable in the short run.
We should all remember that wars are won even after battles have been lost.
Christopher Pierznik is the author of eight books, all of which can be purchased in paperback and Kindle. In addition to his own site, his work has appeared on XXL, Cuepoint, Business Insider, The Cauldron, and many more. He has been quoted on Buzzfeed and Deadspin. Subscribe to his monthly reading review newsletter or follow him on Facebook or Twitter.
