Solo Travel As a Female

Traveling solo used to be a scary thought for me: What if I get lost or sick on the trip; and even worse, who do I share meals with, and how do I not get lonely? These are legitimate concerns and it was not easy to step outside of my comfort zone. Despite its many downsides, traveling solo has been one of the most rewarding experiences that spur the most amount of personal growth.

I am a generally very social person, though I do sometimes prefer to travel solo for various reasons. For example, if I don’t want to coordinate traveling with another person, if I feel like stepping outside of comfort zone, and if I just want to spend some time doing some self-reflection, I would choose the solo option, buy a plane ticket, and just go. As with most things in life, solo traveling has its own pros and cons. I’ll start with the cons first.

The Horror of Eating Alone

The most challenging aspect of traveling alone for me is eating many meals by myself at a restaurant. I once overheard a conversation between an old couple sitting not too far from me at a restaurant, and I was flattered to learn that I was the subject of their conversation. The man speculated, “She probably ran away from home”, to which the woman responded, “No, I think she just broke up with her boyfriend”. That was amusing to hear.

For a lot of people including myself, eating alone at a restaurant is a very daunting thing to do. There is still some social stigma associated with being alone. People are afraid of being and looking alone. Some skip the prospect of eating alone altogether by ordering takeout, so they won’t be seen eating alone by the outside world. The ones brave enough to be seen eating alone tend to try to look busy by reading on the phone or reading a book. Eating a meal is a social experience, so eating by yourself when traveling can be quite intimidating. For a long time, I avoided going to nice restaurants when I travel alone and only ate at casual cafes where eating alone wasn’t out of the ordinary. It wasn’t until the most recent solo trip that I felt comfortable enough to enjoy a multi-course meal by myself at a proper restaurant.

The Fight for Safety

Ah, safety. The #1 thing on the mind of any female travelers. When I travel alone, I only go to places that I know have low crime rates. I took a women’s self-defense class in college in preparation for my future solo trips, and that was a lot of fun. We were in the basement of a random building and the instructor had us say “NO” extremely loudly while doing boxing jabbing motions. So we went “No! No! No!” while jabbing. We looked like a bunch of crazy people.

When I travel by myself I tend to stay in hostels so that I can meet new people. One time I stayed in a “mixed” dormitory at a hostel, thinking that it’ll be a mix of guys and girls. I walked into the room and saw three guys perched on their bunk beds. “Hi…” I waved at them awkwardly. I was truly scared for a few seconds. I was in an unfamiliar place, sharing a room with three guys. Feeling the adrenaline rush, I went over in my head all the different defense moves I had learned. I was ready to fight. The stay went smoothly, but I learned my lesson that “mixed” dorms really means all guy dorms. From then on I only stay in all female dorms.

The Upsides

Traveling alone as a female does have its pros: people tend to be nicer to you. I was in Paris a few years ago and did not find the Parisians there to be arrogant at all. In fact, the waiters at the restaurants were quite nice to me and let me finish ordering food in broken French. That blew my mind. I came ready for some snobbery, so I was a little “let down” by how nice they were.

Another upside to traveling alone is that I am more open to making new friends. When I travel with another person or a group, I tend to socialize just within the group and seldom go out of my way to befriend a fellow traveler. When I was in South Korea 6 years ago, I used an official service that paired me with a Korean college student who wanted to learn English, and we instantly clicked and became good friends. We bought some delicious Korean fried chicken, sat by the Han river, drank beer, and shared stories about our lives. Even to today, that was still one of the best and spontaneous experiences in my life.

Traveling alone has forced me to get out of my comfort zone and trained me to be comfortable with being alone. I learned that I could be alone, but not lonely. I got to have experiences and learned things that I otherwise would not have. I genuinely look forward to taking short solo trips in my 90 days of travels this summer.