The Myth of ‘Male Entitlement’
Feminism’s anti-male rhetoric demonizes men for being men
If you read feminist blogs — as I’ve been doing regularly for the past three years — you have encountered the phrase “male entitlement” often. Feminists believe that patriarchy privileges the male perspective to such a degree that men feel entitled to have their opinions respected, their preferences granted and their desires satisfied. The world is alleged to be a male fantasy playground to such an extent that men become enraged whenever they encounter a woman capable of saying the word “no.”
That this feminist claim is delusional, any intelligent reader — especially the male reader — can easily refute. In childhood, the average boy lives under circumstances of female domination. His mother is his first teacher and disciplinarian, who must always be obeyed lest he suffer her wrath. The boy is likely to attend an elementary school staffed entirely by women, and subjected to punishment by his female teachers for any disruptive behavior. As a teenager, the average boy’s romantic feelings toward girls are unrequited, as adolescent girls are usually interested only in the most popular males, while treating most of their male peers with complete scorn as “losers.”
How many rejections and heartbreaks does the typical boy suffer before he graduates high school? Feminists don’t care, and men don’t usually bother to recount their adolescent ordeals, because nobody wants to hear a man complain about his problems. The world is distinctly unsympathetic to male suffering, and feminists are campaigning to eradicate whatever sources of sympathy might exist. Stoic silence is expected of men, as regards their misfortunes, while their successes are stigmatized as “male privilege.”
The accusation of “male entitlement,” meanwhile, is used to demonize men who dare to hope that women will treat them with friendly courtesy. For example, any man who thinks that women enjoy being complimented on their beauty is engaged in behavior that “is inappropriate, offensive, and wildly tone deaf,” according to Leah Fessler. When President Trump went out of his way to compliment an Irish reporter on her “nice smile,” this epitomized to Fessler “all those irritating displays of male entitlement on the street, in the classroom, and perhaps most infuriatingly, at work.”
Was this just the usual feminist anti-Republican bias? No, feminists have spent years proclaiming that it is wrong — “harassment” — for any man ever to compliment a woman’s appearance, especially in the workplace. We are expected to believe that a man telling a woman she has a “nice smile” is profoundly offensive, and feminists consider it “male entitlement” for men to imagine that a woman might be grateful for such flattery. And men should never encourage a woman to smile, according to Soraya Chemaly:
Yesterday, I missed a train and I was frustrated, hot and tired. A man standing in the station decided it was a good time to pass his hand along my arm as I ran by and whisper, “You’d be even prettier if you smiled.” Here’s the thing about “Smile, baby,” the more commonly uttered variant of the same sentiment: No woman wants to hear it. And every woman wonders, no matter how briefly, about what could happen if she doesn’t smile. I was in a crowded place and perfectly safe, but that is actually, in the end, irrelevant. I have, in the past, been followed by men like him.
Got that, guys? Saying “smile, baby” makes you a dangerous predator.
When I was a young man, I worked in a series of jobs — including food service and retail clothing sales — where showing friendly courtesy to customers was a fundamental obligation of my employment. Because I was rigorously instructed in the Customer Service Mentality, and spent many thousands of hours dealing with the public in that mode, smiling and exchanging pleasant greetings (“Hi, can I help you?”), this behavior became habitual.
Was it an onerous burden to be expected to smile? Not at all! There is a sort of mind-game involved, where you psych yourself up to a performance of friendly cheerfulness and, like a method actor, you actually become happier in the process of acting happy. When your success in the workplace is contingent upon the customer’s perception of you as being helpful and courteous, you learn to take pride in your ability to keep smiling, no matter how tired you are, or how annoying the customer might be.
The Customer Service Mentality was a way of life for me as a teenager working the front line in fast-food operations at Six Flags Over Georgia, where customers were “guests,” and we were taught to treat them with the utmost in Southern hospitality. Even before then, when I was just a boy, I had memorized the Scout Law — friendly, courteous and cheerful being among the famous 12 points I repeatedly recited on my oath to obey. It seems, however, that feminism requires women to act directly contrary to this. A feminist must always be hostile, rude and angry toward men, and any man who takes offense at this attitude is guilty of “male entitlement.”
No doubt there are many men — President Trump among them — who either didn’t learn the Scout Law, or else have failed to uphold it. Certainly, I cannot claim that I have always been punctilious in doing my sworn duty, yet the ideals expressed by this law are still worth emulating, and those three points of being friendly, courteous and cheerful go a long way toward making our everyday lives pleasant. What feminism encourages, however, is that women should do everything possible to make men’s lives unpleasant. She should never smile at a man, nor thank him for any act of kindness toward her. If he makes the mistake of thinking she would appreciate a compliment, the feminist must react by accusing him of “harassment,” condemn his behavior as sexist, and denounce him as a predatory misogynist.
Courtesy involves a principle of moral reciprocity, expressing the Golden Rule, that we should do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Feminist ideology rejects Christian morality, however, seeking to “liberate” women from any obligation to treat men with courtesy and kindness. Far from advocating equality, feminist ideology justifies an utterly one-sided code of conduct — women are always right, and men are always wrong. No matter how rudely a woman may act, or how objectively harmful her behavior may be, feminists consider her to be a victim of patriarchal oppression, and therefore immune to criticism. Especially, women’s sexual behavior can never be criticized, according to feminists who consider “slut shaming” — disapproval of promiscuity — an expression of misogyny. Furthermore, any man who offers women practical advice about avoiding sexual assault is likely to be accused of “victim blaming.” A man is complicit in “rape culture” if he suggests, for example, that college girls ought to avoid getting drunk at parties and leaving with any random guy they meet at such parties.
The SlutWalk movement began in 2011 after a Toronto police officer giving a public safety talk at York University made the mistake of telling females students not to dress like sluts. This one incident in Canada gave rise to an incessant clamor of slogans, e.g., “How We Dress Does Not Mean Yes.”
In fact, feminist rhetoric implies that nothing a woman says or does can be interpreted as signifying her sexual interest toward man. This hostile attitude toward heterosexual males is not coincidental, of course, as many feminists are lesbians, including Andrea Pino and Annie Clark, the North Carolina students who co-founded the group End Rape on Campus. Because they find all men sexually repulsive, lesbian feminists like Ms. Pino and Ms. Clark seem to assume that no woman has ever welcomed male attention. Therefore, the man who tells a woman she has a “nice smile” is condemned by feminists, who denounce as “male entitlement” his belief that a woman might be pleased by such a remark. Is there any expression of male heterosexuality that these feminists would not consider offensive? When we examine their rhetoric, it often seems that feminists are against heterosexuality, per se.
Consider, just as a random example, sex blogger Erika Lynae.
A woman who makes her living talking about dildos and orgasms on YouTube, on Twitter and on her blog, Erika Lynae would seem to convey the impression that she might enjoy some, y’know, sex. However, woe be unto any man who reacts to her incessant sex talk by expressing interest in her. Perhaps in his heterosexual male mind, this may seem like a common sense deduction, but Erika Lynae (a) is not heterosexual, and (b) is a feminist.
“Let’s talk about male entitlement. Let’s talk about the messages I get claiming that because I educate about sex on the Internet, I’m somehow obligated to answer any and all invasive questions about my personal life that people feel like asking me. Let’s talk about the messages giving me every lurid detail about how men [masturbate] to me despite the fact that I’ve made it clear that it makes me super uncomfortable, and then the messages calling me a hypocrite for being uncomfortable with it. … Let’s talk about the rage from these man-toddlers when I ignore them or, God forbid, tell them no. … We literally cannot have a conversation about women on the Internet without half of it being about men, because men are almost exclusively the ones who make it dangerous to be a woman on the Internet.”
If you’ve ever done any of these bad behaviors described by Erika Lynae, then you might be a former congressman from New York. The vast majority of men would never do such things. Certainly any man who masturbates to Erika Lynae’s videos is in need of psychiatric help, and only a truly depraved person would admit doing that. But enough about Anthony Weiner …
Because most men never do the things Erika Lynae says “make it dangerous to be a woman on the Internet,” why are such rude behaviors generalized under the category of “male entitlement”? Because feminists hate men, that’s why. They use the worst possible examples as an excuse to demonize all men and, when any man objects to these slanders, his objection is cited as proof of his misogyny, and as evidence that the world needs … more feminism.
“Never talk to a feminist” — I’ve been repeating that advice for months. What feminists want from men is exactly two things:
A. Shut up;
B. Go away.
A feminist never wants to hear what a man has to say, because she believes that whatever a man might say is always wrong — men know nothing and she knows everything. When a woman describes herself as a feminist, there is no point in any man attempting to talk to her about anything. This is why feminism is always a lecture, and never a debate.
Therefore, the only honorable thing a man can do is to avoid feminists.
Guys: Learn to take a hint. Learn to walk away.
If a woman tells you she is a feminist, say nothing and walk away.
No feminist wants to hear what a man has to say, and life is too short to waste your time talking to feminists. Just walk away.
Leave feminists alone, and then they can complain about that.
God knows, they always have to complain about something . . .