Let’s Talk About Sex in Menopause

Andee Maloney
The Pause Perspective
5 min readAug 14, 2024

August 14, 2024

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby

As a menopause coach, I often talk about the challenges of menopause, but today, I want to open up about a deeply personal struggle of my own: low libido. This isn’t an easy topic to discuss, especially when it’s something that has put a strain on my own marriage. There have been times when my desire seemed to vanish overnight, leaving both my husband and me feeling confused and disconnected. It’s an emotional journey, one that I’m still navigating, and it’s made me realize just how important it is to address this issue with honesty and empathy.

So today, we’re diving into a topic that’s often whispered about but rarely discussed openly: sex during menopause. As a menopause coach, I hear from many women who are concerned about their changing libido and the challenges that come with it. It’s a difficult and emotional subject, but let’s tackle it with a light-hearted approach, a touch of humor, and lots of empathy.

The Mysterious Case of the Missing Libido

One of the most common complaints I hear is about the loss of sexual desire. Picture this: one day, your libido is front and center, ready for action. The next, it’s gone AWOL, leaving you wondering what on earth happened. It’s like trying to find your car keys after a long night — you know they’re somewhere, but where?

Understanding Perimenopause and Sexuality

The journey into perimenopause typically commences in a woman’s 40s, although for some, it can start earlier. Symptoms such as hot flashes, sleep disturbances, and vaginal dryness have a direct impact on libido and sexual comfort. It’s crucial to recognize that these changes are normal and manageable. Seeking reliable information on the topic is the first step towards adapting and finding pleasure during this chapter of life.

Why Does this Happen?

During menopause, our bodies undergo significant hormonal changes. Estrogen and testosterone levels take a nosedive, which can lead to a decrease in sexual desire. It’s like your body is going through a massive software update, and not all the old features are compatible with the new system.

Not compatible

Strategies for Sexual Well-being

Communication with Your Partner

Openness and honesty with your partner can significantly enhance your intimacy during perimenopause. Discuss your physical changes and feelings. Understand that this transition affects both partners, and mutual support is vital. This is a time to explore and perhaps redefine sexual intimacy together.

Maintaining Physical Health

  • Regular exercise: Not only does it improve your overall well-being, but it also boosts libido and can reduce perimenopausal symptoms.
  • Healthy diet: A balanced diet rich in phytoestrogens, omega-3 fatty acids, and vitamins may alleviate symptoms and support sexual health.
  • Stress reduction: Techniques such as yoga, meditation, or mindfulness can help manage perimenopausal stress that may dampen sexual desire.

Enhancing Sexual Comfort

Vaginal dryness, a common perimenopausal symptom, can cause discomfort during sex. Using water-based lubricants can ease this problem. It’s like giving your car an oil change; everything runs smoother! If symptoms persist, consult a healthcare professional about possible treatments such as hormone therapy or localized estrogen treatments.

Vaginal dryness is no joke!

Exploring New Dimensions of Intimacy

This is a fantastic opportunity to rediscover your sexuality. Intimacy is not solely about sexual intercourse. Think of it as a treasure hunt! What turns you on now might be different from what worked in the past. Exploring other forms of physical and emotional connection can be enriching. Massages, shared hobbies, or simply spending quality time together can reinforce bonds and enhance sexual well-being.

Nurturing a Positive Self-image

Changes in body shape and image can affect self-esteem during perimenopause. Embrace this natural evolution with kindness. Practice self-care and affirm your body’s beauty and strength. Celebrating your body can translate into a more fulfilling sexual experience.

Menopause is a natural part of life, and it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions about it. Embrace the changes and be kind to yourself. Your libido may not be the same as it was in your 20s, but that doesn’t mean your sex life has to be any less fulfilling. It’s just different, and that’s okay.

Always give yourself some grace friends!

Seeking Professional Support

There’s no need to navigate perimenopause alone. There are treatments available, from hormone therapy to counseling, that can make a world of difference. Healthcare providers, therapists, and support groups (like the Hot & Bothered Cafe) can offer guidance and strategies tailored to your needs. Whether it’s managing symptoms or addressing emotional concerns, professional support can be invaluable.

Conclusion

Sexual well-being during perimenopause and menopause is achievable with the right approach. It’s a time to explore, adapt, and rediscover your sexuality. By employing these strategies and being proactive about your health, you can thrive through the changes and enjoy this natural progression in life.

So, let’s keep the conversation going and support each other through this journey. Remember, you’re not alone, and there’s no shame in talking about sex during menopause. With a bit of humor, open communication, and a willingness to explore, you can navigate this new chapter with confidence and grace.

To all my wonderful readers, keep shining and embracing your marvelous selves. And remember, if you ever need a menopause coach to guide you through, I’m here for you. Let’s solve the mystery of the missing libido together!

Stay fabulous friends!

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Andee Maloney
The Pause Perspective

Certified Menopause Wellness Coach and nurse, empowering women to navigate menopause and rewrite their journey!