Managing Ego: Cultivating behaviours that serve us
With leaders and colleagues alike, ego tends to dictate the landscape of a project, team, or organization. The power of ego is all encompassing and can influence team structure, business development, and organizational practices.
But is ego bad? Like anything in life, there are positive and negative characteristics to ego. On a personal and professional level, it’s important to understand what behaviours serve us and how we can foster these behaviours.
Before we runaway with a complex idea like ego, let’s define terms. At its core (in a non-Freudian sense), ego is about confidence (self-aware, favourable views of one’s self) and arrogance (unaware acts, driven by insecurities). These opposites play out in our lives to the fanfare of partners, friends, co-workers and leaders. Who hasn’t looked on as a self-assured person leads a rich and dynamic brainstorming session, or as an arrogant leader ignores yet another potentially innovative idea from a support staff on their team?
A Confident Ego
In the workplace, the best forms of ego give lift, direction, structure and optimism to a team or organization in the form of confidence. Put simply confidence is required to run an effective company — investors, partners and employees demand confidence. They want a self-aware and self-assured leader who can inspire during times of instability and keep things efficiently chugging along during periods of growth.
Think of your best leaders or managers, what traits do they have? They’re likely confident, self-aware, and self-reflective. They’re likely able to challenge or encourage their employees, inspiring self-confidence in others. They likely provide support and encourage risk taking in a curated, safe environment. These leaders have ego, and a good amount of it, but they are also pragmatic, acknowledging their own strengths and weaknesses.
This is a confident and positive ego at work.
An Arrogant Ego
The inverse is the toxic, the arrogant, the negative ego.
We have all had a co-worker, manager, or leader who shoots from the hip, who fails to take alternative perspectives into account and acts with a reckless abandon, which can net positive outcomes but generally to the detriment of a team or organizational culture. These individuals are not leaders, however, they sometimes find themselves in positions of power or leadership for various reasons.
The unfortunate fact is that arrogance stifles creativity and the ability to see possibility and potential. This stifling effect can flow to other employees, teams, or departments, before long leveling a sense of complacency and defeat on an organization.
It can be a fine line to walk — between confidence and arrogance — when ego is concerned. This fine line can teeter-totters back and forth without a strategy to cultivate positive behaviour.
Confront Behaviour That Doesn’t Serve You
No one wants to work with an arrogant, thoughtless co-worker or leader. So how can you right the ship? Confrontation.
The age-old fear of confrontation is alive and well in all organizations, and yet the quickest way to address bad behaviour is by confronting it, immediately. Confrontation is challenging, it takes practice and a willingness to learn, but the payoff is worth a few perceived awkward conversations.
Addressing negative ego has two immediate benefits — it helps to develop self-awareness in the person who is acting in an undesirable fashion, and it helps to establish a safe environment for others. The mere act of discussing behaviour that doesn’t serve a team or project demonstrates healthy organizational values: cultivating awareness and safe environments. These are kinds of environments and places are where people (talent) want to be.
Constructive communication is another net benefit. When co-workers and employees witness positive and constructive communication tactics when dealing with difficult situations, it signals a willingness to authentically engage. This has a positive ripple effect on teams, related departments, and ultimately the organization as a whole. Managing internal stakeholders (employees), is just as important as managing external stakeholders.
In the end, ego can be a positive, driving force or a negative, roadblock. Reflecting on the environment and tone an organization wants to create for its employees should drive who is placed in leadership positions. Leading is more than being proficient at a role, it’s about supporting and challenging people, creating open and safe environments to get the best out of your employees.
Ultimately, leading in confidence is having the awareness and drive to cultivate behaviours that serve us.
