The Survivor's Guilt
Of all life experiences, any moment where you are made to live by someone’s pity is the most disgraceful for the ego.
An incident which I can never rub out of my memory is when I was in 2nd grade. During lunch I touched a table in the adjoining classroom through the window barricade just to check if my hand reaches it or not. The table wobbled and fell on a girl who was eating her lunch. I panicked and kept quiet feeling my uneasiness and ensuing ignorance won’t go noticed. The teachers mad with rage asked who was responsible for the accident. No one answered. Just to pacify the anger, a student who was sitting near the window was beaten black and blue by the staff teacher. After the class settled and unable to contain my escape from the injustice, I confessed I was responsible for the accident. The class teacher told me to confess to the other class teacher. I did but was told to take my seat.
Perhaps I was spared since one of my relatives holded an influential position in the school staff. However on returning home I felt the most despicable creature to ever walked the earth.
It never occured to me to go apologize to the girl or the boy who took the beating that should have been mine. But the injustice never left my mind and I remain a prisoner of my surviving conscience.
