Workplace Conflict (and how to face it head-on)

When you take on the role of People Manager, you might expect things to be plain sailing, at least at the start. But circumstances, stress, pressure, change and, well simply different mixes of people and personalities may often rock the boat. So how do you negotiate the rough seas? Sailing-analogies apart for a moment, our book dedicates a chapter to dealing with conflict because it is an inevitable part of team-life and therefore an inevitable challenge you will face.

Whether the conflict has grown between two team members, between you and one of your reports, or a wider group of people, you will feel a number of emotions that are building up your ‘fight or flight’ response. You may feel nervous or uncomfortable with the situation unravelling before you, or you may think that it’s time to roll your sleeves up and get stuck in to find a solution.

There is one golden rule that has always guided our response to situations in our own careers, and it is this: Almost without exception, it is always better to have a difficult conversation than to avoid an issue. Conflicts left to fester will get gradually worse and become harder to resolve the longer they go on. But how? There are no hard and fast rules to resolve issues like this, but there are some ‘tried and tested’ tips we can give on how to approach conflict resolution:

• Don’t pretend the issue will go away by itself, or hope that it dissipates if you ignore it.
• Conversely resist the urge to rush into a heated, passionate response without giving any thought to the words or actions you use.
• Where possible, bring the conflicting parties together, asking both to articulate the problem/source of the conflict together with the impact it is having on both of them.
• Agree some ‘rules of engagement’ for this discussion. This could be as simple as giving each party time to speak without interruption, but could also extend to the use of polite language or having an independent third party present to help facilitate the discussion.
• Remain objective and dispassionate. This doesn’t mean you should act without sympathy but try to ignore preconceptions or assumptions you might have which could lead you to have a biased view.
• Once each party has communicated their views, ask questions to clarify and confirm the root of the problem.
• Discuss what a ‘resolution’ might look like for each person involved.
• Try to avoid giving up before a resolution is reached. Having a winner and a loser increases the chance of the conflict recurring. Wherever possible come to a collaborative resolution, agreed by all parties. Failing that a consensus is better than no resolution at all.
• Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help if the situation escalates, or wanders into areas that might be out of your control or ability to respond to. Your own Manager, or HR partners are there to support you.

There has never been an organisation in history with zero conflict between its people. It’s not a sign of failure if this happens on your watch! It might be uncomfortable, and take you out of your comfort zone to deal with it, but avoidance will have a far bigger effect on your reputation as a Manager and on your workplace culture. It takes real courage to talk openly and honestly about conflict. You might be dreading it, but in the end, resolving issues always pays off. If you don’t succeed straight away, you’ll always learn from each situation, and you’ll become a stronger, more resilient and respected Manager as a result.

Adapted from ‘The People Manager’ A Guide for First Time Managers, by Joanna Root & Dean Hume. Available from Amazon.