Build your own table: Women in Corporate Culture
Let’s begin this journey with a list that was posted on LinkedIn not long ago (link to original article is below):
Mansplaining, over talking, taking credit, for others work, pay inequality, passed over for promotions, sexual harassment and assault, walking on eggshells, name calling, women’s tasks, sabotage, intimidation and threats
I have lived with every one of these, over and over, through the years.
This is NOT a statement I should be able to make. It’s not a statement ANY human being should be able to make. But so it goes…
Let’s dig into this a little deeper. Into the culture and experiences surrounding these statements, by looking at the , the , and the (not in that order 😃 — I prefer to end with the good parts that can come out of this).
[*Here is M y Usual Caveat ( see footnote): integrity requires that I speak from experience, and an article format has a word limit; therefore, for the rest of this article, I will simplify a bit by generalizing with “we”, “your”. Ok — let’s jump in…]
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (not in that order)
The BAD: A Reality Check
The above list is SO accurate and SO ubiquitous that when we speak up as individuals, even “good people” label us as hysterical, over-reacting, mistaken, bitchy, jealous, and just plain wrong…
In spite of this external reaction, there is power in our numbers, and in our solidarity. I hope we are headed toward a future where our voices will not only be heard and respected, but will take us closer to a world of impactful change.
My experience spans both the tech and the investing worlds, and I have found that the corporate world is by far the worst offender. I gravitated to the entrepreneurial world many years ago and it gave me the freedom to walk away — but ALWAYS with consequences. Spiteful damage to reputation, sabotage of outside contracts and relationships — these are long-coveted tools of those who hide behind their salaried contracts, their money, their money-sanitized reputations, their status quo privilege, their coat-tail relationships, or simply their ability to manipulate through emotion.
And again — this isn’t just about women, although my perspective and experience is of course that of a woman.
The UGLY: What can we do?
So many times I have heard: “it can’t be that bad”, “why don’t you do something about it” “take them to court” “report them”…
Well… it IS that bad. Our relevant laws (at least in Canada) are window dressing — they look good but are so useless that lawyers often advise against wasting your money (personal experience again — oi 🤦 — and no offence is meant to lawyers and defendants who DO find a successful path through the legal system). Friends, coworkers, and family used to think we were crazy, or paranoid, or jealous — but that is changing, at least in my circles — shoutout to my amazing network of stalwartly supportive family, friends, and colleagues!
The reality in our society is that money talks, and if you have the most money, you win.
And status quo talks — if you are the established, the norm, the familiar — you win.
And inherited connections talk — if you can convene a back-room meeting of high-powered execs — whether these connections were forged in the fires of business relationships, or inherited from the reputation of the Founder you work for — you win. We all know the old saying that “sh** runs downhill” — well… so does “inherited integrity”, which amounts to the same thing 😂.
And an inordinate number of times, if you are a white male, you win. (See “status quo” above: I live in N America and for me, personal experience makes this generalization accurate. Please substitute the “status quo” descriptor that applies to your situation)
The GOOD: We can do this!
Here is my wish for everyone who experiences these things: The next time one of us hears something similar to this actual quote from my personal interaction with a Board Chair / Founder (sadly not the only one 🤦):
If you want to make it in this company, don’t turn up at “xyz” public event. My Partners will be there, and they don’t like being upstaged by a woman. I’m not rocking the boat with them — you’ll have to live with it.
My 😃🪄 🦄 💫 wish for you — all of you — is this:
That we see and feel a powerful group of advocates standing with us who CAN (after proper due diligence and verification of facts) move the needle:
Who CAN call out these corporations and individuals across social media.
Who CAN stop patronizing these businesses.
Who CAN add these offenders to their ban lists.
Who CAN verbalize their respect for us (if they know us well enough) in business circles.
Because, you see, one of the biggest ways we become casualties of this skewed system is that we fade away… we disappear from your board rooms, your meetings, your project briefings, your events.
If we disappear today, will you wonder why? Will you get in touch? Will you want to know what happened? Will you make that extra effort to include us as we recover from the subtle (or not-so-subtle) damage that comes from:
- reporting ongoing sexual harassment
- refusing to be threatened into silence
- experiencing demoralizing (and sanctioned) personal attacks?
- simply not being status quo
- wearing heels and nice dresses
- being able to hold intelligent conversations that threaten the self- esteem (apparently) of those who have gained their position through something other than talent, aptitude, and intelligence
Better Times Ahead
I know this sounds like a depressing subject — and it is, for many reasons — BUT facts are facts, and they are the place we must all begin if we are to create a shared space for these conversations.
It gets better, I promise.
At least, this article gets better — as in, it gets less depressing — I can’t vouch for society in general!
Hope, change, solutions, and wonderful people are ALL on the horizon. I have met some of the most amazing people on this planet throughout my career in corporate, consulting, and entrepreneurial environments. I’m not promising a change in the ENTIRE global culture (but you never know!), I’m just saying that stories must be shared, and emotions must be validated. And by this I mean the stories and emotions of both the marginalized AND their supporters.
This is a not an easy road for any of us. For our allies, accepting that the world you thought you knew — a world that wasn’t perfect, but at least you thought you were aware of what was going on in your own business and network — is rife with more “shadow malice” than you ever imagined, is HUGE. It requires time, empathy, objectivity, a shift in perspective, and a plan. Your support will bring consequences, adding bumps in the road of your business, career, and personal journeys.
You have the gratitude, support, and understanding of those of us who live on the “other side” of this equation.
Final Takeaways
A final caveat
Let’s be clear: Helping someone find both a new job and an integrity-based community is not the same as calling out injustice. Both are impactful and create good karma. The former can give someone the footing they need to find their next job, to find communities that value integrity, and to fight their next battle with more impact. The latter can effect real change, far beyond 1 person and 1 business, BUT there may be far-reaching legal and business consequences. Proper due diligence and verification of facts should be done before risking your business reputation by calling out these “shadow injustices” (issues not in the public legal filings). Sometimes we can share openly. Other times this verification may require signing an NDA and a conversation with our legal counsel. It really is that bad.
Those of us who live on the “other side” of this equation know what it is to deal with “far-reaching legal and business consequences”, a complete lack of “proper due diligence and verification of facts”, and a damaged business reputation — all from simply from being who we are. Women (or in some other way not the status quo).
Let’s tip the scales!
I do wonder what the world would look like if the inhabitants of the current sea of “inherited status quo” became:
- Muffled by legal threats they can’t afford to challenge.
- Blacklisted by collusion they can’t prove.
- Faced with the financial and emotional challenges that come with the loss of job, reputation, colleagues, network, career.
- Voiceless and invisible in a sea of opportunity.
- In debt, sifting through a decimated life’s work, facing cancelled meetings, terminated projects, and an empty inbox.
Perhaps one day we will see this spectacle. Perhaps not.
Perhaps one day “status quo” will refer to “worthy people evaluated on ability and treated with respect”.
When this happens…
Will be a majority that operates with integrity, transparency, and principles? It’s worth some serious consideration. As times change, the “old guard” will fall, age-out, retire. What will be the legacy of those who put the pieces back together?
Now that is the right question!
*My usual caveat: integrity requires that I speak from experience, and an article format has a word limit; therefore, I may use generalizations from time to time, and can not possibly cover every injustice that exists. BUT injustice is injustice, and it is rampant in far more ways than I have covered in this article, all of which deserve visibility, support, and reconciliation.
Here is the original post that inspired this article — thank you Stephanie! linkedin.com/posts/simpsonstephanie_ally-advocate-empowerment-activity-6943171801107640320-eHOp
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Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com.
