How to Mentor 1-on-1: A Short Guide
6 years distilled in less than 6 minutes
I have been teaching people stuff for 6 years. I taught English academically and not, creative and persuasive writing, public speaking, and a bit of chess.
In total, they amount to about 120 students, excluding the classes I taught in schools, ranging from beginner to intermediate stages. I mentored kids, college students, and adults older than myself by a considerable margin.
Here’s my guide to tutoring people.
I wrote it for myself. It’s meant to be revisited often and understood through the lenses of your own craft and profession.
Step 0: Learn
We won’t dwell on this one for long. If you don’t understand a subject thoroughly, you can’t teach it well. But how do you determine if you understand it? Here’s how I answer that:
- Can you explain it to a 5-year-old?
- Can you answer the difficult, confusing questions you had when you were at the level of your pupils?
- Are your hands dirty with work?
- Can you have fun with it?
If you answered ‘no’ to any of these, you should probably sharpen up a little bit.
Step 1: Listen
There are many questions to answer in this step. You have to fully understand your students to know what they need and what’s the best way to deliver it to them.
A lot of the people I taught English were kids who knew nothing about the language past the alphabet, trying to cram in as much as possible a day before the exam.
There was no time or room to teach them English from scratch; what they wanted was some way to navigate the exam material. They wanted to understand the questions and the cues to the right answers. They needed short, simple systems.
The challenge I had to overcome was merging those systems with real, practical advice to better their understanding of the language. I wanted them to leave the session with long-term value.
Some of the people I taught to write, usually collage students, were simply there for me to reassure them that the direction they were taking was sound. The way I helped them was by getting them to ask the important questions.
They already knew their answers; they only needed some solace from someone they trusted.
Other students came to me because they were excited and wanted to get better. Those are the students that stick around. Their passion knows no season.
You must empathize before you take action and try to solve the wrong problem. Listen to your pupils. Are they trying to solve an emotional problem? Or are they there to get better?
Step 2: Teach
This will be a 2-part bullet-point segment. Ready? Here we go.
A. Lay the foundation
- Explain the fundamentals of the subject.
- Tie them into stages. Take chess, for example. It has 3 stages: the opening, middle game, and end game. Apply this to anything. It adds some much-needed structure.
- Address their gap in knowledge.
- Give them short and long-term goals they can pursue to shorten the gap.
- Break down everything above in a way they can understand. Reference things they know and draw parallels through them.
- Encourage questions. Some people are afraid of looking dumb, but it’s important to create a safe and non-judgmental environment.
B. Start Building
- Tackle the goals you set.
- Ask questions to get them thinking.
- Teach them systems for efficient problem-solving.
- Use those systems.
- Understand what clicks with them—the examples that make them go "aha!"—whether it’s visual, auditory, or some kind of metaphor.
- Reinforce and reference every step of the subject. Draw upon the immediate practical uses alongside the long-term conceptual value.
- Test their understanding. Let them explain it to you in their own style.
Step 3: Execute Together
Growing up, if I didn’t get something right on my first attempt, I’d get talked down upon and be forced to take a back seat and watch the adults do it. This stifled my independence massively. And it made me deathly scared of trying new things on my own.
It’s a common thing in Arab culture. If you don’t do it perfectly, you take a back seat. It’s ludicrous.
When I dropped out of high school, I went to work in construction. There, I had to work with people who didn’t have the time to do things for me. The first month was terrifying.
I had to do so many new things on my own, all while second-guessing every step I took. It was beyond uncomfortable, but I stuck with it, and it paid off.
A good chunk of my students were clearly raised like me. They’re not used to putting what they learn to use immediately.
They feel paralyzed and scared. At every step, they ask, “Like this?”, “What do I do now?” I see a part of myself in them. You can only overcome this fear by getting your hands dirty with work.
Assure them that failure is okay. Tell them how many times you failed. Let them fail without judgment.
Ask them questions. “What do you think is the problem? How do you think we should fix it? Can you explain the process to me in your own terms?” and so on and so forth. Help them have fun with it. Give them little problems to solve.
Your pupils should become independent of you.
That’s a scary thought for people who make a living off returning students. The reality is, if your students need you that often, you’re either ridiculously good or you’re not giving them the tools they need to be self-regulated.
Thank you for reading.
