always about a boy

It’s always about a boy. And why wouldn’t it be? At 17, what else can really make a girl upset? A bad test grade? Yeah, that sucks, but you’ll get over it by eighth period. Your favorite shirt being stained? Yeah, unfortunate, but you can always wash it or buy a new one. But a boy is different. For some people it’s like throwing away a paper plate. You got your use out of it, you know there will be others, and it’s okay to let it go. But it has always been harder for me. As much as I would love to just throw them away, I can’t. When I catch the feels, boy (no pun intended), do I catch them. I’m not sure what sort of analogy to make here, but I really don’t let go of things easily. Boys especially. They affect me in the worst way. If I had a dollar for every time a boy disappointed me, I would have enough money to buy the earth twice. It just sucks feeling unwanted. The majority of my sadness comes from boys. As much as I would love to not care about them and act as if they don’t matter, it would be a lie. Because it does matter. To me, it matters. And as much as I would love to pretend it doesn’t make me really upset, it does. I would love to be like “Boys? Eff that! Don’t need them.” I hold onto them like flowers. I try my best to keep things going, put my heart and mind into it, and they always fade away and wilt. I’m done wallowing in this. I suppose it’s time to clean up, stand up, and move along.