The mystics, Diana 20 years later, and the path of descent. (Or love is learning how to lose.)
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” ~ Winston Churchill

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~John 16:33
Is life about winning? Have you read the mystics lately? They are timeless writers for a reason with little gems hidden in their spiritual classics. The only way to rise up is the path of descent, for example. St. John of the Cross, “In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.” Darkness becomes light. Julian of Norwich, “First there is the fall, and then we recover from the fall. Both are the mercy of God!” Fall becomes recovery. FR. Richard Rohr, “You will and you must “lose” at something. This is the only way that Life-Fate-God-Grace-Mystery can get you to change, let go of your egocentric preoccupations, and go on the further and larger journey. Deep mature faith is the ability to lose graciously.” ~ “Falling Upward.”
Singer Shawn McDonald writes a lyric in a song on his latest album that goes, “Love is learning how to lose.” Have you sung something like that recently?
NFL player Tim Tebow in a memoir, “Shaken” describes being asked to turn down a one day appearance commercial for $1 million, the day before being cut from his then drafted team. He went on to be signed to another team. He goes on to write that he had learned how to lose graciously, to rise after falling in adapting to a plan or dream changed from what he originally had imagined. Rohr continues, “It is not only the loss of persons that leads to grief, but also the loss of ideals, visions, plans, places, relationships. It all depends on whether we are willing to see down as up.” That, “Where you stumble and fall, there you find pure gold.” ~ Jung What have you fallen from in your life?
Do all of us get to the flip side?

We come to the 20 year anniversary of the unexpected accidental death of feminist sensation Princess Diana. She used her white privilege to show the rest of us how in her own descent one could rise and give back to humanity in ways never seen before. Especially in awareness to land mines and the first to confront stigma of the HIV/AIDS breakout. And then there came an early morning in a tunnel. It is here where theologian Fr. Richard Rohr doesn’t address the shock and awe of the unexpected. “Dying must be allowed to happen over time, in predictable and necessary stages, both in those who die graciously and in those who love them. Being present at live birth and conscious death are probably the supreme catechism classes and Sunday schools that we have available to humanity. And yet we have turned them largely into medical events instead of the inherently spiritual events that they are.” But what about the unpredictable and unnecessary death’s that happen in a flash, that are so shocking that are almost unconscious in the stages of grief, “Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.” ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

In all the experiences I have had, shock and awe unexpected death is not the predictable necessary stages. It is a total maddening poison to any spiritual life in the traumatic experience of the ineffable. Certainly what the disciples must have felt running away from the cross as Christ hang bleeding. I don’t think we are ever prepared Golgotha in the way we can accept the fate of Lazarus. Shock and awe is a different kind of grief, one that may never fully heal in the fleeting speed of a new reality, and the weight of finality. Does the weight get lighter? Prince William and Harry still grieve after all this time. Yet their actions in charity lift millions of lives up.
Author Brene Brown in Rising Strong writes, “When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending — to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends.” Where are you in your story? I can’t think of a better film that demonstrates this then “Manchester by the Sea.” Read my review of the film here.

Do all who descend fall upward? Are there forces that try to pull and keep others down when they are down? OSU baseball pitcher Luke Heimlich had a past in which he persevered a successful treatment program. A slimy local newspaper brought it up in the middle of the playoffs. Pressuring the coach, school, and team to ‘send the message’ that it would be better for him to quit. He stepped aside and the undefeated team lost the college world series. What kind of a message does it send to those in the way of descent that as you try to rise strong a judging world may not be on your side? “One only needs to gasp at the criminal justice system in the parole violation hamster wheel to see we are ignoring root symptoms with mere jail time.” ~Sgt. Michael A. Wood Jr. Baltimore P.D. {Ret.} Luke is rising strong, our unforgiving society failed him.

It just seems that some people start hiking to the summit at different depths of the mountain. The monastic mantra of equality doesn’t apply. Some share in the suffering of Christ a lot more than others. I cannot pretend to begin to understand why. If love is learning how to lose, then many have a much deeper love that finally brings them to the top. And that is an extraordinary spiritual happening that isn’t often noticed by anyone other than God.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7rq5N_kU_I?rel=0&autoplay=1&w=560&h=315]
“Faith is a dark night for man, but in this very way it gives him light.” -John of the Cross

