Circus
First part-Birth
It was a warm moonless night. I belched out of my mother’s womb with my twin sister onto the prickly grass. My eyes were still closed but I could smell the summer haze deep into my nostrils, followed by a familiar lick all over my face, momentarily blocking every other sensation. I had never actually met my mother before. But here she was now, alternating between my sister and me, spreading her love equally. I think she was surprised to see my sister and I sprawled on the grass leaden cave that night. You see, tigers usually have a litter of cubs, three or four, sometimes more, but my mother only had two. She was a young tigress living in the Sunderbans of India and we were her first cubs. I struggled to get to her teat as I was starving from being inside her belly for five months. I found it after a few tries while my sister who was the smarter one was already suckling. I drank her milk to my heart’s content then fell asleep right there on her soft belly, huddled against my sister even though it wasn’t cold. My mother, who was exhausted and relieved from cub birth also fell asleep, her gigantic paws enveloping us in a maternal, protective embrace.
I saw daylight for the first time ever. It was bright and frightening but also exciting. I could see the bright green grass, the tall mangrove trees and a large expanse of water with sunlight sprinkled on its surface. I opened my eyes for the first time last night but I think I prefer nighttime over daytime. At night, I could see the slightest movement, but everything else was just a silhouette. Ma said, as long as we could see movement, we would be safe, since we mostly hunted at night. I hadn’t been on a hunt yet with Ma because she hadn’t left our side since we were born. I think Ma was really hungry now; she hadn’t eaten in days. Now that my sister and I could see, she said she could go for a small hunt and bring some food. I don’t really know what she meant by that, because I liked the food that came out of her teat.
This afternoon, Ma left us alone for some time and went on a hunt. My sister and I played in the cave and had a great time. We were both girls, but my sister was stronger than I. She was gentle though and tried very hard not to hurt me on purpose. She did bite my neck a little too harshly and I let out a yowl. Ma was right outside enjoying her lunch and she came bounding in, blood and flesh dripping off her whiskers. I retreated into a corner because her look scared me. She only laughed and started licking my face once again, reassuring me that all was okay. We then continued playing in the cave and Ma joined in, we girls had the time of our lives.
Ma said, we were now old enough to venture to the lake to drink water. I was really excited to go there as I had been eyeing the sparkling surface for weeks since I opened my eyes; it just looked so beautiful. I was not intimidated by daylight anymore because I had seen that everyone else; ruddy kingfishers, mudskippers and even the crocodiles were having the time of their life near the lake. It couldn’t be that bad. As we ventured out to the pond — it was farther away than I thought as we had to climb over some mangroves and wade through a swamp I had not previously seen — Ma said to be careful of the crocodiles. They were friendly, for the most part, but sometimes especially if we stepped on their tails or young ones; they were known to snap with their powerful jaws. My sister looked at me with an alarmed expression. I must have looked frightened too because Ma said that if they so much as tried to yawn, she would slash at them with her claws and jaws and everything she had. That made us feel better and we finally reached the surface of the water. It was an endless expanse on either side. Glittering sunshine had moved farther away from us. I was disappointed that I couldn’t touch the sparkling surface. When I looked down, I was so taken aback. I could see Ma, my sister and myself. I could see my whole reflection; right from my whiskers to my tail. I could also see inside the water’s surface at the same time. I saw soil, and fish and tadpoles and mudskippers and mosquitoes, and a gigantic crocodile was lounging by the side. The air here smelled salty and as we drank the cool water, I knew why. The water tasted salty too but it was very refreshing in the humidity of the summer. In fact we were so refreshed that we chased mosquitoes, attempted climbing atop a mangrove and even tried to bite tadpoles as they ran helter-skelter onto the other side. They tasted funny, but all the same, we had so much fun.
We were getting bigger now, Naya and I. Ma said, very soon, we could venture out for our very first independent hunt. I couldn’t wait to go out and hunt by myself as I was tired of smothering the little pelts Ma brought for us. The nights were getting longer and more humid. I saw large fluffy clouds forming in the sky. It looked like rains would visit us soon and the Sundarbans were notorious for disappearing under the invading water. Ma told us about the time she was a cub and her mother had to abandon her to swim to safety. Ma made it somehow, but she didn’t want to leave Naya and me behind at any cost.
Second Part: Monsoons
I woke up to cantankerous thunder and blaze of lightening so strong, I thought daylight had cracked through the night sky. Raindrops pelted at the entrance of our cave and water started collecting almost immediately with little rivulets running into our cave. I didn’t really know what to do, so I looked at Ma who was wide awake, pacing the ground. She asked Naya and me to stay put and went outside to check. For a wild moment, my heart thudding, I thought Ma had left us. But then she came back, soaked, fur flattened against her body. I noticed how thin she really was and I wondered if motherhood was taking a toll. She asked Naya to stay put this time as she grabbed me in her mouth softly, I could barely feel the pressure but I hung there, still, afraid to move. She swam in the billowing mass calmly and yet I could sense the panic swelling within her. The region outside the cave looked drastically different than yesterday, when we ventured out to drink from the lake. In fact, it was all just lake, water had lapped up on the land, swallowing it whole. Humongous raindrops were falling down in thick curtains, and I was soaked within seconds. I could barely see or smell anything but I heard everything; water making an eerie sucking noise and clouds colliding fiercely. Then I noticed the wall of Sundari mangroves, putting up a vehement fight against the rain. Ma dropped me at the base of one and commanded me to climb up as high as I could. I scrambled up as fast as my legs could take me. I was being weighed down by all the water clinging to my fur. Few minutes later, Naya scrambled up a branch in the mangrove next to mine. I was delighted to see her safe but I couldn’t see Ma anywhere. I stayed put though, afraid to look around for fear of falling into the watery abyss that was now flowing violently underneath. I had company. Various birds, insects and small animals had made the mangroves their abode. We all stuck together as we were all prey tonight, water didn’t discriminate that way. I really don’t remember how long I stayed in the tree, but it stopped raining sometime before the sun rose. I was sleepy from exhaustion but I fought to stay awake nonetheless. At first light I craned my neck to search for Ma. To my immense relief, I saw her on a mangrove not far away, clutching onto a flimsy branch fiercely. She was alone on that tree, even in the floods, she was feared. I suddenly felt a pang of affection and pity for her; my sopping mother, all alone in the tree all night. If only they knew how much she loved us, how protective she was, how she had saved us from the rainy fiends.
Rains came and went for the next few days. We all just remained in the trees, barely moving our muscles. I was thirsty and hungry and tired and my muscles felt cramped. But I didn’t dare move, even to adjust myself. I had passed some urine as I couldn’t control it anymore. It mingled straight into the abyss below as old friends meet. The sky was a gloomy grey and days and nights merged into each other. When it finally stopped raining, I turned my head to look at Ma. She nodded her head and began climbing down almost immediately. There was water everywhere and still no sign of land. She swam towards Naya and me. Naya was waiting for her at the base. I hurried down. Our home, the cave, was uninhabitable, which meant that we had to move to a new home. The prospects were frightening to say the least. I had never set foot outside our little swamp. And now I didn’t have a choice.
We swam for days on end. I couldn’t tell you how far we had come from our swamp. At night we climbed onto mangroves and lay there heaving. I could fall asleep almost immediately, but Ma stayed awake, or tried to, for our safety. I could see the exhaustion in her drooped eyelids, her sagging whiskers, and weak limbs as she hauled herself up onto a branch with immense effort. We needed to eat soon, because we were all hungry, irritable and emaciated. Fortunately, the water was beginning to recede, leaving dead fish in its wake. While it wasn’t our food of choice, we gobbled up the fish like delicacies. With food in our bellies and our moods elevated, we set off again. This time, we were able to walk onto the newly formed embankments. Walking on terrain was so much easier than wading through water. We started following Ma deep into the mangroves. The whole region smelled fishy, no doubt from all the dead fish left on the banks. But there was an unfamiliar scent in the air, it wasn’t anything I had smelled before and given that Naya’s nose was upturned, she was confused too. Ma on the other hand seemed quite alarmed. She stopped walking and started smelling the air every which way. It was quite difficult to distinguish the various smells for Naya and me but Ma was quite adept at this. Suddenly, I saw some movement beyond the thicket of mangroves…
To be continued…
