I will not stay silent.
I was four years old and walking to school with my grandmother aka aaji . We were late, so we decided to take a short-cut through an alley. As we walked, I witnessed something no four-year-old should ever — a pig being slaughtered. A man was holding her down with his foot. He had a machete in his hands and he was making back and forth sawing motions. The pig was squealing, but no one stepped forward to save her life. We just passed through. I was obviously traumatized by what I saw and I asked aaji why the pig was being killed.
She said, “for meat. But don’t worry, we don’t eat pigs.”
I was relieved. But I could not forget the sight and sound of her. Over the next few days, I developed a fever and I wouldn't eat meat. This lasted for a few weeks. Very soon, I forgot and started eating meat again.
When I was in first grade, I made friends with a stray puppy aka Pappu. He was extremely playful and boisterous. He would follow me home every day from school and I would feed him my lunch. Then we would play and he would settle down for a nap as would I. He would stay outside in the sweltering heat or heavy rains and I would be back home in a cozy bed.
One day, as I played with Pappu and my friends, someone set off fireworks. The loud noise startled all of us, including Pappu. As he tried to scramble away, I caught him. He struggled, then bit me on my calf and ran away. I didn’t report the bite to anyone for fear that I might get in trouble. My mother noticed it and I was taken to the doctor and given fourteen shots on my belly as prevention against rabies. Pappu, on the other hand, disappeared from the area. After much cajoling, aaji finally told me that he was taken to the pound to be put down because he had bitten a human. I couldn’t fathom it. I was devastated. Pappu was my friend and now he was gone.
As I was growing up, I realized that I loved all animals, not just dogs, and cats but others too. A dream started forming inside me. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up. I would tell anyone who listened to my plans and how I wanted to save all animals. Some would smile and some others would ask me why I wanted to save animals? Why not humans? I didn’t have an answer.
I continued eating meat, although watching my mother cook meat made me uncomfortable. I would watch her boil shellfish alive or cook a whole chicken or skin dead fish who had their mouths open with fear frozen in their eyes and I would feel a deep sadness that I couldn’t explain. I tried telling them, that I didn’t feel like eating meat anymore.
“But it is our religion, our dharma to eat meat,” said aaji.
“It's healthy,” said mom
“So yummy,” said dad
And I believed them and continued eating meat, all the while feeling guilty.
When I was sixteen years old, I read Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiography. I was moved deeply by it and it was this book that gave me the strength to give up meat, once and for all. I felt so liberated. I also made the connection that we abuse animals not just for food but also for leather and silk and oil and wool and fur and immeasurable other things. So I tried giving those up as well, never realizing that milk and cheese and butter and ghee were also products of cruelty. At this point, I was in constant friction with my family members and friends who refused to see the truth.
Soon, it was time for me to decide on a career. I always had a scientific temperament, but I had to choose between a medical career for humans or non-humans. Again, I was bombarded with questions and concerns from all sides.
“Humans need more doctors.”
“You won’t get paid enough as a vet.”
“We should care more for humans. There are so many of us!”
“Why animals?”
Again, I didn’t have a substantial answer and I ended up choosing humans once again over my dear animals. This time, in fact, I suppressed my feelings for them. I stayed a vegetarian but decidedly was quiet when it came to sticking up for their rights. I became almost insensitive to their needs, their suffering. Under the guise of social acceptance, I even encouraged my meat-eating friends to consume dead bodies in my presence because I wanted to show them how tolerant I was.
It was actually after I came to the US for my Master’s degree that I freed myself from the clutches of social acceptance. For the first time ever, I was making my own decisions — I was my own maker. While living alone in Philadelphia, I came across animal rights organizations and got entwined in their work. The violence perpetrated against animals in dairy farms and factory farms and fur farms made me sick and depressed. It was cathartic for me because all my repressed feelings surfaced and there was a sort of awakening. I turned vegan.
Why animals? Simply, because they are earthlings, like us, and horrible injustices have been inflicted upon them since time immemorial. Animal rights are human rights. The animals deserve an uprising, a revolution.
This time, I will not back down. This time, I will not stay silent.
Until every animal is free!
