Dream Diary #2

I’m in a class full of secret agendas. The earth has been ruined and we’re all refugees to a more desolate planet.

We’re being re-educated, ala 1984, but the vile government is made of idiots and their attempts at control are pitiful. The exam features questions such as “If someone in this room were your spouse, who would it be?” and “What do you know about the muting of the re-education video?”

They are trying to find the couple sitting next to me, a man from Australia and a woman from Russia who are married and pretending to be one another. Their daughter is an AI, and she’s the key to overthrowing the vile government, which doesn’t see through their paper thin ruse.

In a dream, I couldn’t care less about them and their unnecessary subterfuge.

The instructor is deeply attracted to me. He adds the question “Which would you look better in, silver shorts or a silver thong?” to the exam. Sits beside the Australian man and stares straight at me with a grin. He is not quite handsome, ugly only in the sense that he has a deep resemblance to Dick Dastardly. I write “Silver Shorts” as if to say, I am willing to sleep with you but I’m not that excited about it.

The AI daughter has invaded the facility. The lights flicker. In the corridor outside, guns mow down the guards. The person sitting in front of me is a dear friend who shows me that his exam is swimsuit themed. Class is dismissed.


Hello again internet. It’s me, Limited Edition Sneakers. A cockroach doesn’t choose its life but you go ahead and crush it anyway. Think about that at the Dairy section, Andrew. Think about it.

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