Good Girls Don’t Orgasm Like That

My journey from pleasure-shamed slut to sex-positive advocate.

When the guy I gave my virginity to told his friends I was a “total sex freak” a few months into our relationship, I didn’t understand.

When I asked him about it he casually explained that I seemed to enjoy sex way more than any girl he’d ever met, and then he sheepishly added “I mean, you were dripping wet and super into it!” On the surface, his words sounded almost flattering, but the baffled look on his face made it obvious he wasn’t giving me a compliment. He was put off, and a little threatened, by my sexual enthusiasm.

I’ll never forget his look of displeasure or the wave of shame that washed over me.

It didn’t take me long to realize he was a total jerk and break things off. A few weeks later it was obvious his rumors about my enthusiasm had made their rounds, as I found a scribbled Sharpie message proclaiming “Bradlee is a SLUT” on the bathroom wall in our school cafeteria.

They were right, I thought. It’s probably not normal to be that wet, or that into sex.

I felt like my body betrayed me

I’ve always been enthusiastic about the things I love, especially sex. I’m easily turned on, and back then I…