The sick narrative of Ageism for Women
I am not sure where the crossing line is, maybe it is a river that needs wading, maybe it is just a moment, but one day someone — without your permission— will draw the line of where you stand with regards to your rights to be and feel sexy and what instead is expected at your age.
At one point, regardless of how old you are, how you feel, whether or not you have nephews and nieces, you will be labeled granny, and all for the wrong reasons.
At one point, it will be expected of you to be(come) innocuous, candid, dependent, devoted, compliant, and sexless.
You will go shopping without expecting to find something you like to wear and make you feel good (ok, this applies to any age), instead, you will have access to a range of very expensive shapeless (or containing) gear that will make you look like Queen Elizabeth, with the only caveat that those clothes will not bring out the Queen in you.
Yes, granny pants might be comfortable, but they should not be the only option, nor should they be labelled granny. Comfortable clothes should be accessible to everyone wanting to actually breathe in their clothes.
Suffering to look sexy is apparently a prerogative of young girls and women, their sense of devotion still considers sacrifice as a viable currency, it is the price we pay collectively to please ageless men’s eyes, which we are told should be our constant top priority.
This fetish of having to suffer in your own clothes and underwear to please men’s eyes is WRONG, and just because, alas with age, we have emancipated ourselves from that idea, it does not mean that we don’t have the right to choose clothes that makes us look good and are comfortable.
Of course, all the above applies only to women, because men have been wearing comfortable clothes since day one, so they can transition to grandpa panties at their own leisure, or pretend they are Rambo till 103.
Let’s not talk about sex
The entire older women age clothesline is built around the taboo of sex for mature people, but ça va sans dire, it is particularly harsh with women. Do you mean older people still have sex? Yes, I understand, it is taboo, it is like imagining your parents or grandparents having sex, yes, I get it, but how do you think you actually came to this Planet? Seriously, grow up! And, most importantly, who are you or we to decide who has sex with whom? People have sex at any age they like, and as long as there is consent, they have all the right to feel sexy about it and enjoy themselves.
It is not about decay, people grow older day by day, they do not turn 80 overnight, they are totally ok with the evolutions of their bodies, minds and souls, it is about the right to be represented without being judged or having to conform to some weird caricature.
If you try to look sexy (or alive for that matters) when society has instead decided that your spotlight time is up, by the way when yours and anybody’s time is up, you wont need worrying about anything, then you are labelled either eccentric or crazy, depending on the fashion dictamens du jour.
Older age clothes are made sexless by the same designer’s hand that oversexualizes girls and women’s clothes, it is all about pleasing ageless men’s expectations and soothing their fears at any cost. It is the same sick brain, that does not care about nor respect women, regardless of their age.
Comfort is a birthright. Comfort should be in the genes passed onto us from our mothers and grandmothers, instead what we get passed onto is trauma, generation after generation.
Let’s not delay comfort or anything that makes us feel good to older age, no need to comply with patriarchal standards, honestly, we do not owe anything to anyone.
Ps: Let’s all stop using the word granny as a derogative epithet. That is just a symptom of our everything is soooo screwed up. For me, granny means a state of peace, unconditional love and awareness we should all aspire to, not scorn.
PPs: Rebranding “granny panties” with “hipster briefs”, is a false attempt to democratize comfort, while telling the exact opposite, ie. that comfortable clothes are not for the “mainstream” but just for some fringes. Regardless, putting labels on women’s clothes, as if the piece of cloth defined the woman wearing it, is patriarchy at its finest.
Want to write for The Pink? We’d love to have you in our community of 400+ writers. Or Follow us on Instagram for more.