Inside The World Of Dating As A Jehovah’s Witness

I probably would have died alone if I had stayed in the religion.

Tosin Sanusi
The Pink
Published in
7 min readFeb 8, 2021


Photo credit: Polina Sirotina on Pexels

Disclaimer: I believe in freedom of religion and I don't wish to offend anyone who belongs to the organization in question. The following is based on personal experience and research.

Yes, I know there’s nothing wrong with dying alone but when I visualize my dream life, I always see myself with a loving partner and a house full of happy, healthy kids.

Years ago, when I still attended weekly meetings at the Kingdom Hall, where Jehovah’s Witnesses go to worship, I thought that dream was impossible for me. At eighteen, having never dated a guy within the organization, time was running out. By the time I reached my twenties, all the eligible brothers would be taken. I would miss out on love and happiness as usual.

Dating as a young Jehovah’s Witness is a less romantic version of Victorian courtship tradition. A delicate dance of cautious puritanism that could cause the downfall of your reputation and dignity with just one misstep.

Dating is for marriage purposes only

Jehovah’s Witnesses frown upon dating for fun or even flirting with someone you’re not married to. Dating is reserved for those who have passed the ‘bloom of youth’ (1 Corinthians 7:36), a time when people tend to think with their genitals.

Despite the rules, I noticed that many Jehovah’s Witnesses got married young (in their late teens and early twenties) — still a very sexually driven life stage. I wonder if that has anything to do with the next rule.

No hanky panky

Premarital sex is strictly prohibited. It’s not uncommon for a religion to preach abstinence before marriage but the Jehovah’s Witnesses take this commandment a step further.

Those who give in to their ‘fleshly desires’ are subjected to these humiliating organizational procedures called judicial committees where they are asked uncomfortably specific questions about their ‘sinful’ activity.

If the congreation leaders, called elders, find the ‘sinners’ adequately remorseful, they might issue a ‘private reproof’. If they are…



Tosin Sanusi
The Pink

Devoted cat mother. Sagittarius lady. Lifelong learner. Lover of food.