New Generation of Desi Family is Killing the New Generation
Do our parents really know what’s best for us?
Once I was talking to my nearest, dearest friend and my phone-pal (yes, I made this term for her) Nidacheema. She said something that moved me to write this story. First of all, let me explain the background story of her views.
Being the part of a Desi Asian family (Pakistan, India, etc), I have seen certain aspects so closely that they are needed to be written down. This story is related to a certain behavior, tradition, norm, value, this and that. Our lives are filled with “this and that”. If you do ‘this’, ‘that’ would happen and it ‘that’ happens, society would kill us and won’t leave us (as if they are feeding us or they are our guardians).
Coming to a certain aspect.
Our Desi Asian parents don’t allow marriage of choice or a love marriage, usually. It is parents who will decide who is a better suitor for you. Then they will ask “is this person okay for you?”. You see the picture or see that person live (in front of everyone) and after knowing things like education, job, the status of the person, you say yes or no. if ‘yes’ then parents will arrange everything and if ‘no’, they will find again.
They will find again and again unless they find the “girl or boy of their dreams” for their kids (did you see the problem here? Girl or a boy of THEIR dreams, not their kids’ dreams).
They will take all this pain, but, but will never allow you to find your partner on your own (in most of the cases). You know why? Because the young generation isn’t trustworthy, their judgment isn’t good, they can’t understand the true intentions of the other gender, they are inexperienced and moreover, they will find a man/woman outside of their caste and THAT would kill them and there are many more other reasons also. You can see the picture below to show our culture of the typical rishta scene (proposal seeing process).
Well, I just laid the ground for addressing the actual problem here. The previous paragraph is just to give you a preface so that I may tell you the actual issue.
Sometimes parents are right because they know that they haven’t prepared their kids to judge the true intentions of the other gender (can you see the irony here?). They know that they have raised them too dumb to choose their partner. There are many things to share, many things to cry out but I don’t want to make this so long (next time, next problem).
How a new generation is killing the new generation? Here comes my friends’ point of view. She said,
“Rabia, when I see two mature and well-settled people in love and who clearly see that the other person is good for him/her, at that point, I feel they should be together by breaking all the old traditions of caste, family setups, society issues, and parents’ stubborn wishes, etc…” “But when I see such two souls are broken up because of ‘parents are not allowing it’ etc, I feel that these people are killing the people of the new generation who can’t speak for themselves. I hate such cowards who can break the chains but don’t. Such people can bring change in the society but they are such quitters that they are killing the new generation in this aspect. If they can’t, then who would?”
I don’t think so I can explain more. Her statement of the problem is crystal clear.
