Strengthen Bonds with Those Who Matter Most by Putting Your Pen to Paper
Love letters aren’t just for lovers
While I was away at university, my mum took the time to pick out glittery and ridiculous cards, writing jokes and supportive messages to bridge the physical distance between campus and home. We’ve long associated affectionate notes with melancholy protagonists, messages steeped with an archaic, overly dramatic air — the stuff of fairy tales and romance novels, so far disconnected from the modern world they seem forced and twee.
And yet, the thought of receiving one still holds an air of tantalising mystery.
In an age when the only post arriving at our doors is junk mail or the occasional Amazon delivery, seeing a handwritten letter on the map is a caring novelty.
The pandemic has shown us the importance of interaction, especially physical, with everyone we cherish. Letters, with their thoughtful ponderings and affirmations, are a wonderful way to show how much you care. If you’re unsure how to start, these are my advice and words of encouragement.
Where do I start?
One of the main fears people have when it comes to writing down their feelings is knowing what to write in the first place. Just as books seem more dependable than internet sources, written words appear more concrete, more real, more true. This weight can make distilling your thoughts a pressurising challenge.
The first thing to remember is that you have all the time in the world. There’s no one waiting at the other end of the phone, no one anticipating your response now that you’ve left them on read. For the time being, you’re the only person who knows about this letter. Sharing your thoughts with others can be difficult, even if those thoughts are thankful and appreciative. Take your time.
Start with a few bullet points. Highlight the most important things you’d like to tell your recipient. When you’ve broken this down, I find it easier to write on a computer, as I have the chance to edit freely and notice any errors before I transfer the sentiments to paper. This is especially useful for those concerned with any spelling or grammatical issues.
A personal touch
When you’re ready to write out your feelings, now is the time to consider the format. Is your message going inside a card or on sheets of paper? What images or colours would personalise the letter? Choosing a smaller size could make the message seem more intimate, while an oversized card is more of a declaration. Consider what’s most appropriate for you recipient and your words.
If you don’t have access to anything beyond standard A4 copier paper, that doesn’t mean your letter is without thought or personality. Perhaps you and your mother both like the warm scent of lavender and you happen to have some of the essential oil in the house. A couple of drops left to dry on the paper are a valuable gesture.
We’re fortunate to live in a world of video calling. Throughout my time at university and into the pandemic, it was reassuring to know that those I love most were only a button away, ready to listen and help. However conveniently immediate, the potent silence that follows hanging up reminds us of the distance that exists between us. Letters are different. They’re physical, tangible. The time and effort involved writing and sending a letter goes far beyond that of a text message.
Every year, my aunt sends me a birthday card from America to the UK. Knowing that that fold of paper has traversed the globe, passing through the hands of postal servicepeople to reach me safely is a fascinating and moving notion. There may be an ocean between us, but that doesn’t have to stop the passage of parcels and people.
If a letter can cross the Atlantic, then so can I.
If there’s someone in your life you’d like to thank — to celebrate — give them something they can hold. Give them something to remind them how close you are and how you really feel. Invest the time to choose your words and add a hint of personality, and your recipient will be touched. And you never know. They just might send something back in return.
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