We’re Hating Ultra-Femininity
“It’s not that pink is intrinsically bad, but it is such a tiny slice of the rainbow, and, though it may celebrate girlhood in one way, it also repeatedly and firmly fuses girl’s identity to appearance.” ~ Peggy Orenstein.
The notion of beauty has been around since the dawn of time and has been and will continue to be a coveted ideal. Beauty has always been held at a certain pedestal, and many myths portray that. Helen of Troy has become associated with being the epitome of beauty, remembered as having a face that ‘launched a thousand ships,’ and so beautiful that Paris sacrificed warfare and wisdom in favour of owning the most beautiful woman in the world. In this case, beauty can be seen as one that is complimentary and a blessing but also a method of gaining popularity. However, that’s the only thing Helen of Troy will always be remembered for: being beautiful. And beauty will not only remain as a subset of femininity but also remain associated and synonymous with trouble and destruction as suggested by the aftermath of the Trojan war. These are ideas that have become projected into a multitude of movies and TV shows, today.
Ultra-femininity in itself has become inextricably linked to a girl’s ambition to appearance and beauty and it has even become colour-coded: pink.
While the shallowness and hollowness of the said ambition to beauty are always reiterated, it has also become necessary for movies or TV shows to prove that a woman can be both beautiful and smart. For example, Barbie’s beauty and femininity exist in the multitude of pink costumes but also the diversity of careers that she can take on. The coupling of beauty and professional competence links these ideals, making Barbie a role model for the younger generation, despite the absurd and unattainable beauty standards she perpetuates (but that’s a tale for another time).
However, it is also important to note that there should not have been a need to prove that women and girls can be capable of the ideals of both physical beauty and intelligence. Despite this, the need for said proof comes from the fact that the media tends to demonise ultra-femininity or feminine characteristics in general. This demonisation manifests in different forms: The Siren/Seductress, The Mean Girl, The Bimbo, The Foil To The Protagonist, and has indubitably lead to the multiplicity of ideas surrounding ‘Pick Me Girls’ as well as the rift between femininity and feminism.
The Siren;
In Greek Mythology, Sirens were considered to be dangerous yet enchanting and beautiful creatures that lead men to their deaths, once again upholding the idea of beauty leading to the inevitable destruction of men or societies. Condemning beauty isn’t necessarily a new concept, but this form of literal demonising of beauty has gained popularity over the years. Manifesting, for example, in the form of women in demonic possession, such as Jennifer in Jennifer’s Body, only leads to women who are conventionally pretty to be treated as someone who is ‘evil’ and ‘vile’, often going hand in hand with the ‘The Mean Girl’ trope. It can also perpetuate the stereotype of having to stay away from women who are conventionally pretty, under the assumption that they may be trying to take advantage of others. It’s not just this. The media’s portrayal of femininity as something demonic only pushes forth the idea that femininity should not be accepted for it is intrinsically evil, leading to women being treated as a separate species, something degenerate and wicked, rather than as humans. The Siren trope only robs women of their humanity, reducing them to an almost animalistic, base creature.
The Mean Girl;
It’s not uncommon to portray female antagonists as ultra-feminine and no one questions that either. Popular examples would be Sharpay from High School Musical and Regina George from Mean Girls. Both of these characters are commonly seen decked in pink, in extensive make-up, and placing importance in their physical appearance. It’s almost customary to see female antagonists portrayed in an almost unnaturally feminine and self-absorbed way, often emphasizing the fact that their power comes from their physical appearances. It doesn’t take much time to put together the idea that self-absorbance and femininity have become indistinguishably linked, and ultra-femininity is the intersectionality of them. The lack of separation in these two vastly different notions has, irrevocably, lead to the portrayal of women in the media as those who place importance in their external features, remaining shallow and egomaniacal. In the process, the colour pink becomes associated with being the poster colour for an unfeeling, female ‘dictator’. The Mean Girl trope has only lead to many women and girls feeling ashamed or condemned for placing importance on improving themselves through physical appearances, taking great interest in make-up, or even merely liking the colour pink.
The Bimbo;
The Bimbo has become one of the more commonly utilised tropes of hyper-feminine characters in movies and TV shows, often depicted as being airheads with husky voices, dumb, and of course, as those who tend to sleep around. In popular culture, Karen Smith from Mean Girls comes to mind with this stereotype. While previously ultra-femininity is seen as one that is associated with ‘bitchiness’ or as a ‘red flag’, femininity can also become synonymous with being stupid or simply ‘whorish’. Feminity itself, more often than not, has become interchangeable with airheadedness, with people assuming a girl being lesser-than if she is feminine presenting. This may branch from the centuries-old idea of the pinnacle of femininity: sitting still, looking pretty, and being good for nothing. This is highly evident in the fact that those who are feminine presenting are often looked down upon in professional settings, as though feminine characteristics downplay and degrade the capabilities of a woman in her career. This stereotype only encourages the idea that women are unable to be multi-faceted, and can never be all-encompassing. Being pretty and intelligent at the same time has become an idea that is more of a stretch rather than being realistic.
The Foil to the Protagonist;
Ultra-feminine characters are frequently pitted against protagonists who present less feminine than their counterparts. It has become repetitive in some instances of this comparison, as it is frequently used for the protagonists to come across as ‘more appealing’. This is usually due to a hyper-feminine character being seen as someone less capable, to confer a false sense of dimension or depth to the main character. It can also continue to sustain the idea that femininity is hard to keep up with or hard to maintain, customary in attempts to make the protagonist seem better than for ‘not asking of too much’, contrasting the feminine characters who are linked to being ‘demanding’. The media tends to only suggest that feminine characters can never be more than their girly aspects, and are just ‘a handful’ or ‘hard to please’. Even with the bar on the ground for a partner, women will continually be told they are ‘asking for too much’ because of their femininity or be told that they are too ‘hard to maintain’ for wanting to keep up with their appearance which is, apparently, inherently feminine.
Not-Like-Other-Girls;
If there is a common factor in the above descriptions, it would be that they tend to stoke the flames of the ‘Not Like Other Girls’ phenomenon. One thing I largely disagree with, that is popularised in this phenomenon, is the condemnation of anything remotely ‘basic’ or ‘feminine’ without any realisation that individual likes, dislikes, and differences exist. Despite this knowledge, ‘not like other girls’ has become a compliment, an explicit statement that anyone who ‘conforms’ to the ‘basic’ characteristics relating to femininity is undesirable. A broad gauge of this phenomenon is that it can play a major role in pitting women against each other for their personal self-expression. It is important to note that every woman can have a variety of interests and their femininity should not impede the exploration of their own hobbies. This phenomenon has to stop. The toxicity that it condones against women who are feminine presenting can only delve deeper into self-hate for their own femininity or hate for others for personal preferences.
The Rift between Femininity and Feminism;
In reality, hating stereotypically feminine women is simply, at its essence, internalized misogyny that has been reinvented as feminism. While it is true that not all feminists act this way or believe in this rebranding, this problem has become prevalent in society to the extent to which it has lead to the proliferation of ‘feminist ideas’ from second-wave feminism that calls for the denouncing of feminine items such as lipstick and heels, even years later. Despite the rise of ‘lipstick feminism’ that has encouraged the embracement of femininity and feminine ideals while fighting for equal rights, some ‘feminists’ are ready to put down women who dress femininely or are feminine for showing a preference for the same characteristics which have always put them at a disadvantage. Ironically, ‘feminists’ who tend to subscribe to this notion are only endorsing the subjugation of women which they intend to fight against. This is, ultimately, due to the fact that they fail to recognise that femininity is also a form of self-expression, and, hence, instead of attempting to denounce ultra-femininity, feminists should include it in their fight for equal rights. Feminine presenting women also deserve to have equal treatment instead of being associated with incapability, stupidity, or shallowness. Feminine women are also equally as or more capable of fighting for equal rights while in a dress, heels, and lipstick. Feminism is also about embracing and supporting femininity in both ourselves and others.
Men and Feminine Characteristics;
The denouncing and demonising of feminine characteristics in the media, has indubitably lead to the binding of homosexuality to femininity. Men who have stereotypically feminine features or high singing voices often receive homophobic remarks from the media or the general public. Not only that, men who take interest in self-care, which by the way, is very important, are also labelled as emasculate or ‘too feminine’. This has only lead to men forcing to present themselves as hyper-masculine for otherwise, it would lead them to lose their own identity and sexuality. Feminine ideals in men should also be celebrated instead of labelling and compartmentalising feminine and masculine characteristics. This will only lead to the demonising of femininity among people, which was initially confined to the media.
To conclude;
Ultra-femininity is just another form of self-expression and self-expression is a spectrum. Anyone can lie anywhere on them and express both ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ interests. Gender or sexuality should not be a factor to gatekeep others from certain interests.
Reinforcing gender or sexual stereotypes are not pretty. Let’s learn to love the diversity of preferences that exist, including ultra-femininity.
Also, pink isn’t an inherently feminine or emasculating colour. Just wait till you find out your insides are pink.
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