Question №5
30 DAYS ~ 30 QUESTIONS
Of all the words in the dictionary of our vocabulary, “should” is a word that can be tremendously depleting on the self.
Every day our lives are shrouded by the word “should.” I “should” be, he/she “should” be, my life “should” be, this moment “should” be…
Which brings us to should’s true toxic nature. We don’t actually say should that often, not out loud, anyway! No, should is the word we say to ourselves, all day long in our inner dialogue. Mostly in our head. Creating an atmosphere of dissatisfaction or despair — something not right with the way it is — feeling in the heart.
Should. Should is a word indicative of an obligation or even an expectation of yourself or from others. It’s side effects are guilt and often even shame. It’s also a word that implies an open ended-ness and the absence of a decision. It articulates a probability rather than reality. “I should exercise” is not the same as “I’m going to exercise.” “I’m going to exercise” is conclusive. It’s a plan of action which you’re more likely to implement.
‘Shoulding’ ourselves is an energy depleter without us even being consciously aware of it. Should takes away the focus from ‘what is’ to ‘what could be,’ ‘should be.’ We lose the moment. This moment. Right now. Right here. We’re forcing our minds and hearts to be in two places at once. One where we’re at, and two where we ‘should be.’ Taking away the joy of the moment and adding guilt/ shame to a perceived event where we should instead be.
Think about it. Reframe your shoulds.
Remember, you’ll always have what you want, if you want what you have.
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