Judgment, So-called: Cassandra Fairbanks
A regular series of cultural judgments in the Era of Trump
Joshua Gottlieb-Miller, poet, writer, and so-called judge, lays down the law on political acts of (criminal) cravenness, hypocrisy, ineptitude, and general stupidity.
Among President Trump’s blind followers who need to be publicly shamed, there’s a special place in my heart for those “useful idiots” (in the parlance of our Russian-meddled times) who are not merely motivated by greed or cynicism but instead earnestly present themselves as — and believe themselves to be — moralists and scolds.
Enter Cassandra Fairbanks.
Early in Andrew Marantz’s reporting on the Deploraball, he quotes alt-right troll Cassandra Fairbanks on her professed civil libertarian ethics: “I care more about free speech, including for Chelsea Manning and Julian Assange, than almost any other issue.”
I was grateful to read about Fairbanks shortly after the inauguration; I needed a laugh — and there are few things funnier than someone claiming to be pro-free speech now writing “for Sputnik, a news site funded by the Russian government.”
Yes, Fairbanks writes propaganda funded by a government that prosecutes dissidents (e.g. Alexei Navalny and Pussy Riot), and when that doesn’t work, poisons and shoots dissidents (e.g. Alexander V. Litvinenko and Denis Voronenkov).
Later, Marantz describes Fairbanks’s response to civil protest. Her companion, Gavin McInnes — former Vice founder, former Thought Catalog provocateur, current FoxNews/TheBlaze stooge — punched a Deploraball protester in the face. The protester was then arrested . . . for protesting. Fairbanks responded by rabidly defending civil liberties the only way she knows how: thanking McInnes for “protecting” her.
Fairbanks is a remarkably comical example of cognitive dissonance being resolved through a complete and utterly blithe lack of self-awareness.
We’re talking about someone who wears a Comet Ping-Pong pin next to one of Pepe the Frog as proof of her conspiracy-sniffing skepticism but also defends Russia against any hint of election interference. There is no evidence Fairbanks is someone who understands subtlety or thinks reflectively, but is certainly quick to proclaim the stupidity of libtards.
Please, read her columns. Seriously. It won’t take long to read a few. Marvel at the admirable persistence with which she spews bullshit to protect her liege.
On the other hand, she did once display a rare moment of honesty, when she described herself as someone who “got called a literal Nazi so many times” that she decided just to go with it. Yes. Yes, you did.
The so-called verdict:
Fucking hilarious. I’m dying laughing. No, seriously. I hope the laughter takes me. I don’t want to live in a world where this person is paid to write.
Joshua Gottlieb-Miller is based in Houston.
