Coping With Post-Election Dread
I feel like I ate a rotten sausage
I woke up this morning in darkness. Checked the time: 4 a.m.! Ah, what luxury, to go back to sleep. Then the intrusive thought grabbed me by the throat: Trump won. I felt a jolt. My nervous system rang with panic. I was wide awake and could not get back to sleep for two hours. Deep breathing exercises, forcing myself to think pleasant thoughts…nothing worked. My mind kept circling back to that feeling of dread that felt lodged in the pit of my stomach like a lump of bad sausage.
Deja-fucking-vu all over again. But somehow worse. I know that I have no control over what happens next in America. I also know that I’m privileged (white, hetero-male, middle class) and not likely to be targeted by racists, homophobes and women-haters, nor rounded up for deportation. Not yet, at least (until someone finds the political rants on my Medium blog). But the dread I feel for my country is real.
It also does not feel helpful. It makes me want to shut down, to hibernate. Fight, flee, or freeze. Dread makes me want to go limp and play dead. It’s both a valid response to what is — and it’s useless. So, I know I need to get past it, but I don’t know how.
I have become aware of where the dread lives. It’s not on the surface. I can laugh when my wife makes a joke. I can smile…
