Headlines From 2025 That I Wish Were Fake

Life imitating satire

Photo by Nijwam Swargiary on Unsplash

You could be forgiven for mistaking many of the headlines in 2025 for satire from The Onion or some other satirical publication.

Good satire reveals truths hiding in plain sight. It reminds us that the absurdity we stopped noticing at some point remains absurd. It calls us to rethink the status quo, to see things with different eyes, and to act, change, and grow.

Here are the 2025 headlines that I wish were fake news. They read like sarcastic satire. But they’re 100% real headlines from real journalistic organizations.

By sharing them, I hope to participate in what good satire does. I hope to emphasize that things shouldn’t be this way and don’t have to continue being like this.

Let’s go.

DOGE-Y Math

• No evidence US spent $50 million on condoms for Gaza, Reuters, Jan. 29
• DOGE Team’s “Wall of Receipts” Shows Errors in Tallying Billions in Savings, CBS News, Feb. 19
• DOGE’s Savings Page Fixed Old Mistakes — and Added New Ones, NPR, Mar. 1
• DOGE Wants to Cut $1 Trillion This Year. NPR, Mar. 6
• The Proud Boys and Militias Come to Tesla’s Defense, Wired, Mar. 31