Feeling Silenced
A Poem
I can’t speak
You won’t hear me above your own words
Even if you do, you won’t acknowledge it
I can’t think
My thoughts don’t matter to you
Unless they align with your own
I can’t focus
My work will go unappreciated anyway
Unless you benefit directly
I try some days
To explain and to compromise
To beg
You walk away
I guess you don’t respect me enough to listen
You know I won’t leave
I still can’t get a handle on you
10 years and you still confuse me
Do you love me? Do you even know me?
Half the time you are amazing
Loving, caring, kind, attentive, strong, protective
You make me feel safe and warm
The other half, you are suffocating
Selfish, disrespectful, angry, mean, uncaring
I am left feeling vulnerable and insecure
Sometimes I try
To make you happy, make you laugh
It works for awhile
Then you just tell me how it isn’t enough
You want more
More than I can give
I feel myself drowning
Drowning within the needs of everyone but myself
You don’t even ask what’s wrong
I feel silenced
Ignored
Irrelevant
You will apologize
I will forgive
When does this cycle end?
I love you
You say you love me
If these things are true,
Then why do I need to get angry for you to listen?
Why do I need to scream?
Why must I act out of character?
I am left
Feeling Silenced
