6 Signs You Are Selling Yourself Short at Work
And what you can do to be more valued by others.
Knowing your own value and building an honorable reputation at work is not easy. It’s not a skill you are born with, and you definitely don’t learn it from your math teacher at school.
Schools and universities teach knowledge, but do they also teach how best to deal with difficult colleagues? How to speak up for yourself and be taken seriously by superiors? How to make the boss understand that you need an assistant because otherwise you will be swamped with work?
They don’t. Not at all.
Especially, young professionals have a tough time in the beginning. Fresh out of university, they are surprised by the confrontation with the working environment’s harsh reality. At some point, they begin to realize that expertise is only a fraction of what it takes to be acknowledged by superiors and peers.
I was 24 when I graduated with a degree in business administration. I took my first real job as a marketing manager in a tech company. I was ready for the working world, hungry for practical experience.
Due to my impressive resume, I believed that I would automatically be given a particular reputation in the company from the start. I assumed that my background alone would earn me respect and recognition.
But in the others’ eyes, I was the naive little girl — the newbie who first had to sell and prove herself.
Selling myself? I had hardly any idea about that.
Several years have passed now — the most instructive ones in my life. They were full of painful confrontations with colleagues and secretly shed tears in my workplace’s toilet room.
Over time, I have discovered various behaviors and beliefs that led to selling myself short. Interestingly, I found similar behavior patterns in other people as well — in those I thought were wallflowers.
Here they are, the signs that you downplay your potential at work. And what you can do to make others realize you are a precious treasure.
1. You believe that your superiors are smarter and more valuable than you
Their salaries may be three times higher than yours, but that doesn’t automatically make them smarter and more valuable.
Your bosses have a bunch of experience and take great responsibility every day. Undoubtedly, they deserve your respect. But they are not superior people to whom you must bow down and never contradict. Instead, you should be on a par with them, which is the only way to be taken seriously.
Are you invited to a group meeting with the team leader, the managing director, and other colleagues? Make sure that you contribute to the discussion and don’t only sit quietly in the corner. The invitation gave you a voice in the meeting, so use it. And when you notice a discussion going in circles, dare introduce rules and steer the conversation in a new direction.
Typical misbehavior of supervisors is to interrupt other people. Don’t let this get to you, and keep talking consistently. Take your time and finish what you were saying. I now insist on not being interrupted. And you know what? Nobody has ever felt offended by it. Quite the opposite, my insistence has made others listen to me more carefully.
Remember, no one in the organization is more valuable than you. Likewise, you are no better than the lady who cleans your desk and empties your trash every night.
2. You don’t consistently defend your perspective because a counter-opinion easily unsettles you
Just as you don’t let superiors and colleagues interrupt you; you shouldn’t easily give up your point of view. Do you have a strong opinion on a subject? That’s great. Don’t immediately throw your convictions overboard when you hear opposing arguments. Even then, when the company’s stressed director is standing in front of you.
Of course, it's important to understand the other person’s point of view and detect his/her motives. But continue to defend your own perspective in a friendly and diplomatic way.
Your counterpart claims, for example,
“Social media activities don’t bring us new customers. We should rather spend our money on more effective measures”.
Perhaps you would build a counter-argument such as,
“Yes, but everyone is on social media these days to learn about the companies’ products.” Starting a counter-argument with a mere “But,…” not only shows a lack of understanding but almost sounds like a contradiction.
Therefore, you should rather construct a counter-argument with a more understanding tone. Say something like,
“I can understand that you want quick and visible results, but through a paid campaign on LinkedIn, we’ll achieve a much higher reach than it would be possible with our current tools. We’d build a trusting relationship with potential customers. Our target group is doing extensive research on social media about products and companies — long before they are ready to approach us with an inquiry. If we put effort and money into the platform now, we will achieve much better results in the longer term.”
3. You are not aware of the signs of insecurity in your body language
Did you know that 93 percent of a message is conveyed through nonverbal communication? That’s a good reason to take a hard look at your own body language, isn't it?
Your tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, and posture all play a role. They have the power to make you appear either radiant with confidence or completely insecure.
So pay attention to what language your body is speaking. Work on the aspects that reveal your insecurity or tension, and work to your disadvantage. Try to turn your negative nonverbal signals into positive ones.
4. You (unconsciously) reinforce the prejudices others have towards you
Everyone has certain prejudices against people who are different. I have.
You have. Just everybody has. So, you cannot stop people from developing prejudices. But what you can certainly do is refute people’s prejudices.
When I entered the world of work, three characteristics about me were particularly striking to my colleagues.
- I was a “kid” in her twenties.
- I was a female person in a male-dominated work environment.
- I belonged to an ethnic minority group.
These characteristics catapulted me to a fringe group, as you can imagine. And no fringe group in this world is exempt from prejudice. Quite often, I had to listen to primitive remarks from others.
At first, I took these remarks too much to heart, which is why the others found me insecure. At some point, I decided to destroy the stereotypes in their minds. I behaved entirely differently than they would have expected me to.
They thought I was too young; I showed maturity and character strength.
At some point, I no longer got upset about my colleagues’ jokes about women. I began to laugh at them as well. Admittedly, they were pretty hilarious.
And I don’t see my ethnic background as a disadvantage. It’s a privilege in my eyes. It makes me stand out from the crowd, and I’ve always acted far off from bad chlichés. I’m sure that my cultural background gives me a broader horizon than many people have.
Are you also pigeonholed by your colleagues? Prove them wrong and then make fun of their false assumptions.
5. You weaken your arguments by using specific vocabulary
really, quite, actually, kind of, basically, just
People frequently use these filler words to avoid appearing too direct and rude. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with that.
When you’re in the middle of an important meeting wanting to present solid arguments, all politeness aside, such words only weaken your messages. They make your message unclear. If you overuse them, your colleagues won’t get what you want.
Even writing tools like Grammarly suggest omitting these filler words because they lack significance. They make your written sentences look weak.
Now imagine how you’ll be perceived by others when using them in conversations.
Probably, not significant enough.
Therefore, phrase your statements without using these filler words. That way, you will turn them into powerful messages.
6. You barely talk about your accomplishments
Being modest and reserved in the working environment might be a good attitude in certain situations. But in general, with such an attitude, you’ll be quickly overlooked and forgotten.
I’m not suggesting to brag about your accomplishments all the time. But it would give your image a glow-up if you mentioned your successes and talents every now and then. That way, you let folks know what you’re capable of and that you matter in the organization.
A former boss of mine used to say, “Market yourself in addition to your daily tasks.” He wanted me to keep my colleagues posted about my projects’ progress. This was particularly important in my case. As I became a one-person department at some point in my career, my colleagues wondered what I was doing all day. By keeping them informed, they became more aware of my contribution to the company. Hence, my value.
Final thoughts
Especially at work, it is essential to be aware of your own value and not to sell yourself short.
Selling yourself well is not only a subject for salespeople chasing revenue, but for everyone. Whether you work in sales, in a lab, or on the construction site, you must be able to cleverly communicate to others around you that you are an asset to the community.
Because no one gives you credit just like that, why should they when you put your real potential and importance in the background? There is only one person who can make you shine like a star. And that is you.
You are valuable and awesome, so don’t downplay your potential. Put yourself out there and let everybody see your light.
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