A Wrong Definition of Confidence

Based on True Story.

Photo by veeterzy on Unsplash

Disclaimer: This is going to be awkward. It is my story.

I am 23 now and still learning.

I am learning how to live and survive, how to learn and to share, how to kiss and to stare, how to love and to be loved, how to lead and to take responsibility.

The list is long. Although this list is as important, I am nor here for that.

Life is short. Very short (someone dear told me that recently). So, to learn is necessary but to learn the right things in the right time the right way is even more obligatory especially if you haven’t found your voice, your purpose.

Yes, you must experiment with different stuff to figure out which one is yours to be. Even doing that requires planning and asking questions. The Right Questions. Do not ask the wrong questions to fed your brain with wrong answers to follow the wrong paths to finally give up of exhaustion.

Sometimes, we associate our success or progress with paths that either do not align with our goals or with our morals. To fail is still to fail and when you fail in these tasks, you get upset for something that was never meant to be coming your way, but you keep pulling, keep pulling, keep pulling it to yourself.

Stop.

The world is place of lies created by people to enslave those who dare to ask.

Fortunately, some dared to ask and paid the price. Today, if you are reading this post with a smart-band on your hand, it is because of them. It is they who realized that it was a necessary price to pay.

It is simple. Success is directly proportional to the sacrifice you are willing to make. A bigger success requires a bigger sacrifice.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Here is why I wanted to write this post:

For me, for a long time, every single time I read ‘face your fears’, I thought for me it was to talk to girls. While walking, sitting, running, or swimming, if you see a beautiful random girl, talk to her and you have faced your fears.

Yes, it gave me a boost of confidence, at first. I have a partner in my life because of that. Yes. I went to talk to her and now I have an amazing piece of beauty in my life. All this is the good part.

Here comes the bad part. A few months I kept doing that. Then, whenever I wanted to talk to a girl and if I couldn’t do it, for multiple reasons, I felt like a failure. Even though I did achieve a great deal, I am at a better place than before, still it made me feel like it was not all worth it. Like I had to prove something to myself.

I was a very shy and introvert kid while growing up. In high school, in college, you name it. Once, I kid you not, I ran from girls because I was too nervous to talk to them. They still caught me from the other end. That is whole another story.

Once, I kid you not, I ran from girls because I was too nervous to talk to them.

You know how it all started?

Remember, I was just telling you about the lies world is feeding you? It made me feed a lie too. Of course, that lie was talk to girls and get more confident. The real question is this though:

Where did I get this idea from?

…drum roll please…

YouTube

My Dear YouTube,

I know it is not your fault. You show the good and the bad. You show TEDx and the soft sex. I also know that you are too busy but I have a request. Your bad side is ruining lives. People are growing up in this world now. They are given an access to you before they are given a book to read.

They have no one to tell them what is right and wrong. Little kids have sensitive memories. If something bad latches on to them in their childhood, it will traumatize them for life. So, please help us out here.

I would be grateful if you find a solution as soon as possible. I am too dumb to find one. If I were that intelligent, I wouldn’t be here in the first place.

Thanking you,

Syed Idrees

You may have seen the prank videos on YouTube. People doing pranks and dares to make some money. I do not blame them too. I do not blame anybody. We all need money to survive.

I used to watch those videos way too much. I felt sad about myself because I couldn’t do that. I felt envious. I wasn’t happy because a random guy living miles from my place is making a prank. I know.

More sad part is that it is not just my story. It is a story of millions of kids and adults.

We are in a loop of making ourselves sad.

We live not our own lives.

We hang out with ‘cool’ people to look cool.

We take selfies, I don’t freaking know why.

We follow wrong mentors (most destructive).

We are lost.

We have lost to our own creation.

the Solution?

Well, I guess the simple start would be to lose the bullshit.

In a single day? If you can do that, let me worship you.

No. But, slowly. Day by day. While you do that, pick up some new and good habits. Again, slowly. Day by day.

Rome was not built in a day.

It will take time.

But, the end will be glorious. Ask them who already have done this.

There is a tunnel. There is a light.

Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.

No End to Confidence…

Here are the key takeaways:

  • Life is short. Very short. Do not waste it on frivolous activities and tasks. Align your actions with your goals. The right actions. Make a plan and follow that.
  • Ask Questions. Before you even embark on a journey, this is the first step. Yeah, first step in after the first point. Asking the right questions will give you the right answers. :)
  • Confidence is not a candle. You cannot just glow it inside you and Voila, you are confident. Confidence is the number of positive past experiences. For having more positive experiences you must put yourself out more.
  • Give love. Love is love. Give it. Embrace it. Live it.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read the post. I do hope you liked it.

I will see you tomorrow. Bye. :)

This story is published in The Post-Grad Survival Guide, a publication for recent grads followed by 8,000+ people.

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Syed

Syed

Security Engineer | Web3 Researcher | Socially Awkward.