Beware of Anyone Who Says “Success Isn’t Everything”
Ask people who know, not those you love
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“You can be wildly happy with what you have, and still strive to grow and contribute. So don’t ever let anyone discourage you from your ambition for a better life. Don’t minimize yourself or your dreams for any reason.” — Brendon Burchard, High Performance Habits
Unfortunately, there are many people in the world today with a negative relationship with “success.”
They think it’s unethical — that one man’s gain is another man’s loss. Or they may simply think it’s pursued for the wrong reasons. For example, one reader recently commented the following:
“Give up on the idea of success. You are successful just by being. This idea that we aren’t enough is toxic.”
However, to me, seeking “success” is not about coming from a place of lack-of, but rather, a place of abundance. It’s about knowing that the world is full of possibility and someone’s going to claim it, so why not let it be you?
Indeed, it’s about seeking growth. It’s about growing, changing, and improving. All of which are actually incredibly healthy things, as this article will explain. Here we go:
You Can’t Be Happy if You’re Not Growing and Changing
“If you’re not growing and changing, you’re not happy. Research is clear that as people, we are happiest when we are improving. Self-acceptance is important, but self-acceptance is also intended to be a vehicle for positive growth, not for staying stagnant and justifying mediocrity.” — Benjamin P. Hardy
There’s a common notion that you should just “be happy with what you’ve got.” That you should forget about success and just be content as you are. It’s a very nice idea. It sounds all positive and rosy.
However, it’s actually asking you to go against your very human nature. Humans were meant to thrive. We were meant to explore our limits and see how far we could go.
How do I know? Just look around you; everything on this planet is either growing or dying. So, why think you’re any different?
Interestingly, Grant Cardone made a good point in his book, The 10X Rule,
“Those who do nothing will insist to their friends and family that they are happy and content and that all is right with them, which only serves to confuse everyone because it is evident that they are not living up to their full potential.”
Yes, you should have an intense gratitude for life. You should know that your Being and everything else in this world is ultimately a gift.
However, I’m suggesting that not become an excuse for being content with your current position in life. To quote Roger Dawson, “It is a virtue to be content with what we have, but a vice to be content with what we are.”
Similarly, Benjamin P. Hardy has said, “a life of ease is not the pathway to growth and happiness. On the contrary, a life of ease is how you get stuck and confused in life.”
Indeed, it is the struggle — the search and drive for something more that gives life meaning. Without a future to strive for, people rot away quick. Thus the need for continual growing and striving.
Whether You Live Your Dreams or Not, Life Will Be Hard
“Whether you live out your dreams or not, life will be a struggle. It may be more convenient to settle-in to a life of mediocrity, but even still, life will be a struggle.” — Benjamin P. Hardy
For as long as you live, you will have 24 hours in a day. So, I ask: why not make the most of them? Why not see how much you can do and how far you can go? They’ll be endured, anyway.
In fact, many people do believe that it’s easier to simply trudge along and see how little they can do. Although this is far from the truth. To quote Joe Polish,
“Life is easy when you live it the hard way, and hard when you live it the easy way.”
Indeed, it takes a lot of energy to continually convince yourself that you’re happy living below your potential. It takes a lot of willpower to get out of bed in the morning and go to a job that you hate.
So, does this mean that there isn’t pain and suffering in pursuing your dreams?
Of course, there is. You’ll still have to battle with fear, uncertainty, doubt, and who knows what else. But at least you’ll be living congruently. No longer will you have to question if there’s more to life.
You’ll know you gave it everything and that will leave you at peace. Said Darren Hardy in his book, The Compound Effect, “Nothing creates more stress than when our actions and behaviors aren’t congruent with our values.”
Only Listen to These Types of People
“Advice is one thing that is freely given away, but watch that you take only what is worth having.” — George S. Clason
There are many people who will tell you exactly how to live and how to spend your time.
However, I would say not to listen to the doubt, limitations, or unsolicited advice from anyone who doesn’t know how to live the life you want. As Thomas Despin, the founder of Reconnect has brilliantly said,
“Ask people who know, not those you love.”
Unfortunately, those you love are more concerned about your safety than your success. They will offer advice based on surviving not thriving.
We’ve all heard it before: “Take a break, you’re doing much.” “Maybe you should set a more realistic goal.” “Think about the risks; what if you don’t achieve it?”
You just can’t listen to these people. Kindly accept their advice and then disagree. Say you are not certain about achieving the results you desire, but you are committed and want their support either way.
Within time, these people will no longer ask why you do what you do, but rather, how you do it. They’ll see your progress and want a piece of it. As James Altucher wrote, “The greater your own internal fire is, the more people will want it. They will ignite their own fires. They will try to light up their own dark caves. The universe will bend to you.”
In Conclusion
Success is really nothing more than the continual pursuit of a personal goal. While many people will tell you just to “be happy with what you’ve got,” striving to grow and contribute is actually an incredibly healthy thing.
You are not meant to be stagnant; you are meant to grow. Yes, self-acceptance is important. However, it should be used for pulling forward, not for justifying you to stay where you are.
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