How to Network Like A Pro — Even When You’re Not One

“Networking” always used to seem like the most intimidating concept to me; it was always something I instinctively avoided. I never thought I had much to sell.

I was wrong.

And if you’re thinking the same way, you’re wrong too: if you have interests, passions, and a dash of humility, that’s all you need.

If there’s one true tip to networking, it’s to ask for help.

You can (and should) sell your shtick in the process, I promise. And in case I need to sell you my case any further, this step is actually the very first in the story of how I was hired for a job I wasn’t qualified for.

The tip works on a few key premises:

Firstly, it’s a huge compliment to the person you’re trying to connect with.

You’re telling them that you admire their work, you trust their judgement, and that you have aligned interests with them. You’re already doing way better than anyone else who’s simply trying to sell their own brand — all they would show is similar interest.

Secondly, the Ben Franklin effect.

Franklin famously wrote: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.” In this case, asking for that one small bit of help or advice right at the beginning, can actually set you up for a professional relationship where you can continue to ask for help and advice as time goes on.

Thirdly, you get the help you need.

And improve your work or career, in the process of building a great professional relationship. It’s a win-win.

The next question, how?

Whoever you’re contacting and why will be personal — maybe you’re looking for leads to a job or internship, maybe you want to shadow them, maybe you want to collaborate, maybe you need advice on a specific problem in your job. Whatever it is, there should be a goal at the end of it that the other person can help you to achieve.

The easy part:

you can generally do this in five minutes from the comfort of your own home.

The hard part:

you will need to do some research.

My advice is to figure out the something you do need help with, and email people you wouldn’t normally email who can give you your answer — your college professors, a work superior, a stranger off the internet, anyone in the field. Let them know your interests and experiences so they have a better picture of who you are, and to end, that you would appreciate meeting in person to discuss further.

Emails are convenient but impersonal, meetings are professional and help you to stand out.

If you have a networking event, this advice still stands: go into the event with a general work-related question in mind that will genuinely help you and build collaboration.
Once you’ve nailed your small talk and established common ground and interests, ask the people you speak with for opinions and solutions to your problem. If you’re creative about this — you will stand out, and your follow-up will be easy.

Of course, it’s always going to be slightly nerve wracking putting yourself out there, but having a plan to fall back on will save you a lot of stress. The worst they can do is say no.

But you don’t want to network with people who won’t help you anyway.