Is What You Want Truly What You Want?

I have been pondering this question for a while now.

After reading a question on Quora about what your ultimate aim in life is, I began to wonder what mine is.

The truth is, I’m not 100% sure.

I’m prone to changing my mind on countless ocassions and never being satisfied with what I have.

Nothing hammers this home than when I lived in Barcelona.

I spent two years living there, yet I didn’t like it.

There was something about the city that didn’t resonate with me. The vibe, the layout of the city, I would find minute reasons to dislike the city.

However, after yearning to return to England, and living here for 8 months or so, I’m looking back on my time in Barcelona with fondness.

It wasn’t that bad.

The problem wasn’t Barcelona, the problem was me.


I have a number of aims in my life at the moment.

Number one amongst them is becoming self-employed. I aim to do that by the end of the year, and make a living from my blog and other online ventures.

This has been one of my main aims for a while now. The ability to work when and where I want is something I value.

I’m not the biggest fan of being told what to do!

However, the more I close in on accomplishing this aim, a new problem has reared its head.

What am I going to do with all the extra time I will have?

For so long I have focused on reaching my aim, that I neglected to think about what would happen after I reached it.

I would no longer need to my ‘real job’ for eight hours a day.

In truth, I would have more time than I knew what to do with.

Becoming self-employed is something I wanted to be for a long time, but do I truly want it.

For the first time in my life, I will be completely reasonable for my own income and well-being.

Am I truly ready for this?


The phrase, be careful what you wish for could not be any truer.

Going back to my time in Barcelona, the reality was not what I had envisioned.

I had decided I was going to move there a few months before I did.

I convnced myself that I would absolutely love it. A visit once before, 10 previously was on my mind.

I liked it then, so wouldn’t I like it now?

After all, I had spent two years living in Australia and New Zealand, living in Spain wouldn't be a problem. I’m adaptable, I’ll manage.

What I hadn’t factored in was that culture in Spain is completely different to where I had lived previously.

I also didn’t account for how different it would be living in a country, where the primary language is not English.

My Spanish at the time was dreadful, and I just about managed to get by.

After a few weeks, I began to dislike Barcelona, and realise that the reality was different to how I had imagined it would be.

We spend so long fantasising about what we want out of life, that when we eventually get it, our expectations our not met.

Instead we should be looking beyond our aims and what they will entail for our lives once we reach them.

Or maybe we should not have expectations at all, and should take the situation as it comes.

Reality has a way of shattering our expectations no matter how well founded we think they may be.

Ultimate Aim?

Coming back to the original point of my article, do I know what my ultimate aim is in life.

A few years ago, I would have said I wanted to be happy.

But that’s too simple an answer and in reality, a poor aim.

I know I will never achieve it because I will always find faults with whatever I am doing or wherever I am living.

The more I ponder this question, the more I realise I don’t know what my ultimate aim is in life.

But then does anyone?

Do you truly know what your ultimate aim is in life? I doubt it.

If you asked me five years ago, whether an aim of mine would have been to become self-employed, I would have looked at you funny.

I had never even entertained the thought.

Yet, here I am now, on the precipice of achieving one of my main aims of the past few years.

The point is, our priorities, goals and ambitions change as we get older, and hopefully, wiser.

That’s why I believe it’s futile to have an ultimate aim in life.

What happens once you achieve it? Where do you go from there?

There are too many drawbacks to this situation, I believe it’s simply better to have more short term-aims to focus on instead.

Life is a journey and it can throw some curveballs your way when you least expect.

It’s better to have an idea of what you want of life, then a fully crystalised vision, because if it that doesn’t match up to the image in your mind, you will be sorely disappointed.

Like the child you always wants a shinier and more colourful, we are never satisfied.

We will always find new aims and goals to strive for.

It’s what we do as humans.

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