Our Dysfunctional Clothing Choices
Sweaty Balls and the Dark Side of Pretty Dresses
I once read an article in support of man-spreading. I get that some guys need more room for their balls. If there isn’t already a word for “claustrophobia of the nut sack,” a revulsion against cooking your fire eggs, there probably should be. My former fiancé made sure to educate me on just how desperately uncomfortable sweaty balls are, and I am sympathetic.
The author made this one point where I really felt sorry for him. His rant goes something along the lines of, “If I don’t spread my legs out to a certain degree, the center seam of my pants rides up into into my scrotum and pinches the shit out of them. That makes me really grumpy. To avoid that, I’m going to man-spread wherever the hell I want, and damn anyone who says otherwise.”
Well, if the seam of your pants is riding up into the crack of your nut sack and causing you such discomfort as to make you defensive, I think it’s time to rethink the fit and style of pants you’re buying.
Easy for you to say, you might say. What would you know? You’re not a man.
I’m not a man. There are a lot of unspoken fashion rules that guys have to submit to while pretending they don’t exist, because to admit them openly would reveal that men are equally as…
