Reflection & Separation
You can’t be the focal point when you’re reflecting
In the software development industry, reflection is important to agile teams. What separates good teams from great teams is their commitment to regular and thorough reflection. That is, we can only improve if we spend time analyzing what is going well, and what isn’t.
Still, it is much easier to reason about a matter when we are separated from it. Any sort of analysis becomes a lot harder when the subject is also the one who also conducts the analysis. That’s why it is very easy to pick up when someone is doing something wrong but a lot harder to notice yourself doing something wrong.
Thus, a certain level of mental and emotional separation is needed for us to derive the most value out of reflection. When you’re in a good team, you can always rely on your teammates to pick up what is going wrong. But, not every journey in life is co-op. They are things that you must take on yourself.
How, then, do we reach a good degree of separation? By being honest and modest.
How does honesty help?
When we are honest, the focus is on the facts, not on our feelings. This makes it easier to make connections and to infer what the best course of action is. It isn’t easy to separate ourselves from the facts.
One thing that can help us is creating fictional stories about fictional characters that have similar issues to us. The goal is to try and solve their problems. Feeling less attached to the problem, we find it easier to reason about the facts.
You could also confide in someone you trust. Asking them how they would handle a certain situation or how they would approach a problem or what they think is valuable. That layer of separation can help you feel less tied to whatever the current context may be.
How does modesty help?
One definition of modesty is being aware of one’s limitations. When we are aware of our limitations, we can then focus on being realistic about them.
When we are modest, we learn to appreciate that no-one is perfect. We all make mistakes and thus, should expect to make mistakes. When we expect to make mistakes, it’s less harrowing when the mistakes actually occur. You think of yourself less as a failure but acknowledge your humanity. All humans are imperfect.
When we become realistic about how we view mistakes, it becomes easier for us to confront the mistakes we have made. Part of reflection is looking at what didn’t go well. Knowing what didn’t go well is the first step in finding what we can improve on. Modesty is the ability to separate feelings of shame and disappointment from the mistakes we’ve made. When we do so, we’re well positioned to start making real progress. We’re well positioned to make the most of reflection.
Honesty and Modesty, the best policy
Honesty and modesty work hand in hand. When being modest, you need to be honest about what you can do and what is out of your control. When being honest, having modesty in mind will help you be smart about how you approach certain topics. This is important because you might be unable to process failures or internalize success.
So be honest. Be humble. And reflect with confidence that you can improve.
