Tom Kuegler
Jul 5 · 4 min read
Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash

I just read a SUPER negative article that did everything but mention my name explicitly in the text. It was written by an old white dude. They have a problem with me. I’m not sure why they have a problem with me. I don’t have a problem with them. But yet they have a problem with me.

I respect them. I love reading their work. I think they’re about 1,000 times better than me as a writer..

Once again, I don’t mind them at all and I actually really like them..

But after careful consideration I’ve come to a conclusion about their behavior..

It couldn’t be any clearer to me. And you may be going through the same thing. Want to find out?

Let’s talk about what jealousy looks like.


1. Jealousy Is Just Love And Hate At The Same Time

“Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.”

Drake said that. Say what you want about Drake, but that line is perfect.

Jealousy doesn’t work without love. You hate someone because you want to be them. You love what they have accomplished. Sometimes this just translates to them being happy for you, MOST times it translates to light jealousy, and on the supremely rare occasion, it translates to jealousy so large that the person decides to ram a 2,000-word essay out about how much they hate you (and everybody like you) and publish it for the world to see.

They keep who they’re criticizing anonymous, of course.

You know, typical mature behavior.

What I’m trying to say is, these actions aren’t typical. They’re the actions of a broken individual who’s deciding to be super toxic because they love and hate you at the same time.


2. Jealousy Requires A Lot Of Energy

Most times people are silently jealous. I’m not writing this article for them. I’m writing this article for the people that are so jealous they need to tell the rest of the word how sh*tty you are. Anonymously, of course.

Those kinds of people.

It was so funny reading the article written about me because that person sure did know a lot about my recent actions.

I haven’t read 3 articles from them for the whole year, yet they’re over there dissecting every single piece of content I put out. At least, it seems like that.

You see, when I’m disgusted by somebody, I block them. I don’t spend one more second looking at their sh*t than I need to.

Jealousy, on the other hand, is active. It requires energy. It’s slightly obsessive. It compares. It’s wondering why I don’t have that. It’s blaming shit that you don’t need to blame — like the system or privilege or whatever the hell else just so you can feel better about yourself.

Again, jealousy is love and hate at the same time. If it was just hate, my content would be blocked, not dissected.


3. Everything They Say Is True, But Why Are They So Angry About It?

So what if someone is a digital nomad? So what if someone enjoys traveling the world and has a newsletter? God forbid.

The guy who wrote the article about me (and some others) was pretty much spot on with 75% of his piece, but so what?

If I see someone having fun, I’m happy for them. I don’t really care. As long as they’re not being mean and helping others, why the hell should I be mad about what they’re doing?

Well, one reason is jealousy.

I hate you because you’re doing something I want to do. So I’ll write out a bunch of reasons why what you’re doing is wrong to make myself feel better about not having the guts to do what you did.

Super negative, isn’t it? And for what? Why be negative about it?

Because they’re unhappy with themselves.

Too much negativity, to me, is a dead giveaway that someone is hopelessly jealous of you.


4. I Don’t Hate Them, Actually

The coolest part of all this is, I don’t hate them. I don’t exactly care, actually. I can’t believe how someone can be so right on one hand about me but yet so wrong at the exact same time.

How can someone know so much about me but fail just short of accurately judging my character?

Because they’ve never actually talked to me before.

And that’s how I know I’m not really wrong here — that’s how I can laugh off his article basically because I don’t have any ill will against him at all.

I actually just sort of feel bad for him.

Jealousy is weird.

Sign up for my newsletter, maybe?

The Post-Grad Survival Guide

We're confused twenty-somethings. We dish on our post-grad blues, successes, failures, and everyday life right here. Featuring topics related to work, relationships, travel, finances, and so much more.

Tom Kuegler

Written by

Vlogger. Travel blogger. 26 years old. Currently in Southeast Asia. Get my free 5-day Medium course via email → http://bit.ly/2olDN4V

The Post-Grad Survival Guide

We're confused twenty-somethings. We dish on our post-grad blues, successes, failures, and everyday life right here. Featuring topics related to work, relationships, travel, finances, and so much more.

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