When Assuming Stops You from Falling in Love

There used to be a girl in office. She was happy, performed well professionally and looked beautiful. However, she felt she missed out on something and it bothered her. Yet, she mastered the art of hiding it quite well. Over the years, she had many guys hitting on her. Sadly, she didn’t like the men who sincerely liked her or she assumed that the man whom she liked just wanted to sleep with her. The fear of being vulnerable to someone, and that someone taking advantage of her vulnerability and getting emotionally attached to a person who just wanted to satisfy his sexual desire kept haunting her constantly.

I felt she believed in the old school concept of romance. She didn’t want to give someone love who didn’t believe in a relationship for the long term. Yet, she never started loving someone for the fear of being betrayed. Where does this fear begin? Is it an endless cycle of anxiety where you end up lonely?

When Sex comes into the Picture

To some having sex or losing virginity at a certain age is cool, while some like to keep it natural during the course of their relationship, but to some, the concept of losing virginity before marriage or before getting to know a person deeply is like opening the doors of hell to the devil.

She assumed men only desired sex and men desired her for sex. Her assumptions were born out of countless experiences where men weren’t civil enough to approach her the right way. She had dealt with scary experiences of dealing with men who touched her inappropriately and with a man who sexually harassed her, despite liking her and whom she knew for many years.

They say that we have to trust our gut instinct. The problem of assuming a person for who he or she is not, arises from past experiences and they keep jumping to the present, preventing the individual from finding the right person or falling in love. The gut instinct might have failed once or twice or more, making an assumption as a way of judging the intent of a person.

Will she find the right one? Will her love move beyond her assumption and apprehension of the things that scare her?

Yes, she will and the right one would be lucky to have someone like her.

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Originally published at https://www.inkingmyblog.com on May 21, 2019.