Why Networking Doesn’t Work

If you’ve heard building your network is vital to professional success, it’s true. But what people get wrong is how to go about it.

Today there are multiple ways to grow your network: LinkedIn, networking events, meetups, social media, parties, etc.

So if that’s true, why does networking sound like a dirty word?

Probably because the context involves sales. You want someone else to buy what you are selling. Nobody likes a salesperson.

The concept of networking is done like a transaction. I send you a LinkedIn request and hope you accept it. It’s unlikely that you’ll communicate with your new connection, but it’s a feather to put in your cap (I’m guilty of it myself).

Go to a mixer, pass out your business card attached with an elevator pitch and never keep in contact after the event.

The reason why networking doesn’t work is because no one wants to be on the receiving end of that transaction. People don’t buy what you are selling, they buy who is selling it.

I hated attending networking events early in my career. The reason is because they aren’t effective. Free food, drinks and music will attract people, but it doesn’t build connections.

At the heart of networking is connecting. When you change the term networking to connecting your behaviors shift.

Connecting is listening, finding common interests and getting to know someone. Otherwise known as building a friendship. The goal of connecting is to leave enough of a good impression to continue the conversation in the future.

Whether in-person or virtually trust in relationships is built over time. No rapport, no progress. Your end goal may result in a sale, but if that’s your goal during the initial meeting you’re going about it all wrong.

Look at CRM (customer relationship management) systems. They’re built for the long run. The bigger the sell, the longer it takes. Real estate agents plan for months of interactions before a sale is made. Houses are not the same as people, but you’re better off thinking of relationships as long-term than short.

Building your connection base should be a lifestyle not dependent on your employment status. If you wait until you need to expand your network it will happen much slower than you like.

In fact relationships formed over non-business agendas usually end up stronger in the end. Networking is equated to quantity, but don’t overlook strength of connection — quality.

There’s nothing false about the statement: your net worth is your network. But if you quantify people as objects, you’ll be identified as an imposter sooner or later.

Focus on connecting over networking and you’ll reap a much higher return on investment.