Workplace Bullying: My Experience And Reflections

There’s a saying that goes “The only thing constant about life is change.”

With every milestone you reach, there faces new obstacles and challenges ahead. I was 23 and entering my first real job.

Coming out of school and entering a reputable company in the industry (science lab), you’d think that such businesses would’ve been operating on top of a proper foundation to keep things running ethically and professionally.

However, what I learned over the course of that year was eye-opening as I was about to find out reality in the corporate world wasn’t what I’d expect.

You find out that businesses don’t necessarily adhere to sound policies and its workers pay a certain price, all of which could have been easily prevented given management policies were enacted.

However, as in life, nothing is perfect. I’m here to reflect on my experience and maybe help others get some insight on how they could prevent becoming a potential victim of workplace bullying.

1). Know how the people around you relate to you with respect to work

This is vital, most bullies want attention and are usually nosy. In most companies, there is usually time allocated to introduce everyone to everyone else when you’re new (unfortunately our management lacked this crucial phase). If you didn’t get a chance to know everyone, ask a superior to take a moment to do so. Differentiation is key to your peace and productivity.

2). Don’t put yourself in a position to take other people’s fault.

This goes hand in hand with differentiating, however in this regard I want to focus on assisting other workers.

Sometimes you have days where you’re able to finish earlier and you may be called upon to help others. First off, never allow another worker to approach you for help.

Help should be requested and given from the supervisor. In my case the poorly managed department allowed a coworker of mine (who had a grudge on me) to tell others to push me around behind my back (which went unnoticed / ignored by management).

Also when helping someone, make sure they’re not delegating their job to you. As a helper you’re there to assist them with tasks they are accountable for.

You shouldn’t be blamed if something goes wrong or goes unfinished (they are accountable for their job). If you sense that they’re not putting in any effort, consult with a manager and bring it up.

Help is nonobligatory by definition and it should be kept that way in a job setting. Furthermore, help should be a privilege, and if abused, it should be revoked.

3). Differentiate tasks if your coworker is giving you a hard time

In my case, I will reiterate the bully was really one guy who had a grudge on me because I was performing better than he was (he ran with his ego over true competency).

In reality, most bullies are cowards who hide in fear of being caught. In this case, he tried to distract management from finding out he was the culprit by taking the lead and integrating our work so that management could not pinpoint who was wrong.

This gave him leeway to make excuses for why everything was failing. Take time to separate who should be responsible for what in a project, this could bring clarity to management to narrow down where something had gone wrong.

4.) Be genuine to those who are looking to bring you down

In addition to being a difficult coworker, he was also better acquainted — having been with the company longer. Be aware of this.

The malicious tactic he used was to rally his friends within the company to give me a hard time thinking that it would pressure me to leave.

When approached by such nuisances you will win them over by proving your diligence, allow them to see your true nature and allow them to come to their own conclusion of what’s really going on (yes, unfortunately, it takes time to build credibility with others).

The reality is some people will always be more loyal to the bully, but know that there are truly innocent victims of harmful propaganda, and it takes time to undo.

5.) Bring facts to the table

If you have to bring a case to management, bring up facts (qualitative and quantitative if possible). At my job, we were producing tests on samples which could be quantified (based on the amount I had done), and the quality of my work could also be verified on paper.

Make sure you are on the good side with your manager and other coworkers who are involved in your work and have them vouch for you.

Focus on your reputation by performing and producing results that make you look good and ignore unrelated garbage that comes at you. The key is credibility and focus (know what your purpose is and do the best you can).

Finally, understand that your argument should not be brought upon as a concern for just your well being but to the company as well.

6.) Try to work things out and be compassionate.

The goal is not to get rid of people but resolve the situation if possible.

Unfortunately, the bully I was dealing with was at most passive when it came to a lot of the harmful torment I went through because he would use other workers to do his bidding rather than confront me about it.

It was hard to know what was happening until I garnered enough evidence to see what was really going on behind my back. But looking back, I probably would have taken some time to privately talk to the bully on how we could work things out. When I had to bring my case to management though, I made an effort to talk about his good points.

It helps so that when you make your argument you come across as authentic rather than one that is acting on behalf of vengeance (and it shouldn’t be). Remember the bully was scared of losing his job — he had financial obligations of his own and the job was his primary source of income. Strength, in my opinion, is not the ability to harm others but to deter it even though you have the capability of doing so.

In conclusion, I ended up leaving the company before the problem was truly ever resolved. I didn’t leave as a result of getting bullied (even though an investigation was underway about the bullies destructive behavior) but because the company decided to give me more work with no compensation despite giving me an outstanding yearly review.

Ultimately, the company itself lacked structure and looking back I couldn’t blame those who bullied me as it seemed there wasn’t any integrity coming from the business itself.

On that note, I did leave respectfully, and when I was questioned why I submitted 2 weeks noticed I said, “I respect the decisions of the company but I don’t agree with its values.”