You Can Overcome Your Quarter-Life Crisis
Are you 25?
I’m 25 and have a quarter-life crisis.
A week ago, I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know there was such a thing called a quarter-life crisis. I only thought you could have a midlife crisis. I felt abnormal for feeling this way. “I should feel this way when I hit the midlife crisis as 50!” I thought.
I was wrong.
A quarter-life crisis IS a real thing.
People would say: “Why would you be in a crisis when you’re 25? You’re young. You got your whole life ahead of you!”
When I was 15, I couldn’t wait till I turned 20–25 so I can move out, be in a relationship, start a family and be financially secured with the career of my dreams. To this day, I still haven’t accomplished them yet. I wouldn’t call it a crisis, though. I’m just overwhelmed with emotions of feeling pressured into building a responsible life and being fully independent.
Lately, I’ve been feeling pressured and desperate. I allow my emotions to come out and not hold it back. I’m 25 and turning 26 this year. Not married, still single, and living with the family. I’m not able to invite a guy over who I like or a couple of girlfriends for a girl night at my family’s place. It’s killing me not to have that freedom of independency and dealing with aging parents. I have the urge and a strong desire to move out. I want my independence. I want to start a family of my own. Not now. Just a partner right now, then I can begin to start the family when the relationship becomes stable. That’ll be great. I can’t just be single till my 50s, you know? This crisis of mine isn’t that bad, at least. I wonder what it’s like once I hit 30 because that’s when the “clock is ticking” and I’ve read comments from people in their 30’s saying the crisis is worse when you’re 30 than 25. I hope I won’t feel the crisis worsen once I hit 30.
You see everyone around you graduating from college, getting a job, getting married, buying a house, and starting a family. Looking at them makes you feel like you haven’t achieved anything in life yet. You may still live with your parents in your mid-20s, and you feel like you’re way behind everyone else when it comes to being independent. You feel like you have no value because you’re not fully independent yet.
It makes you feel pressured.
It makes you feel pressured to hurry up in life. You start questioning yourself for not having the career of your dreams yet. You may feel like being in a new relationship makes you stop living your life, such as traveling around the world and having experiments. People expect so much from you now.
You’re in a dilemma:
1. You’re 25 — Go and live your life first.
2. You’re 25 — Get your sh*t together NOW!
There’s a side of you that still wants to live your life to the fullest and take life easy because you’re still young. You’re not old, but you’re not a kid anymore. You should take the time to find out what you want. You still have a life ahead of you, and you’re still living with your family while you’re taking it easy.
Then the other side of you feels pressured by the people around you. People expect you to take responsibility for your life now. People ask you why you aren’t married yet, why you don’t have a stable job yet, and why you don’t have children yet. To people, you should have a house, family, children and a stable house by now at the age of 25. But you don’t, and it makes you feel anxious.
You begin to ask yourself questions such as:
- Am I in the right career?
- When will I ever have kids of my own?
- How long does it take to find the right partner?
- Am I a loser for not acting my age?
- Why is everyone around me getting married and kids?
- Why am I behind everyone else when it comes to responsibility?
- Why haven’t I got my own apartment yet?
This article by the Discover Magazine, they quote this:
In a study presented at the British Psychological Society meeting this week, researchers distilled the five key phases of the quarter-life crisis (via New Scientist) from a survey of 50 volunteers who’d had them.
These are the 5 phases of the quarter-life crisis they’ve added in the article:
Phase 1 — A feeling of being trapped by your life choices. Feeling as though you are living your life on autopilot.
Phase 2 — A growing sense of “I’ve got to get out” and the feeling that you can change your life.
Phase 3 — Quitting the job or relationship or whatever else is making you feel trapped and embarking on a “time out” period where you try out new experiences to find out who you want to be.
Phase 4 — Rebuilding your life.
Phase 5 — Developing new commitments more attuned to your interests and aspirations.
I’ve had the feeling of phases 1, 2, and 3. I feel like I’m stuck in my situation and that my situation is on autopilot. I feel trapped and stuck. It’s as if I don’t know how to deal with it, but I NEED to “get out” of the situation I’m in, and I know I can change my life for the better. I just don’t know how, and it makes me feel pressured.
You’re having an awakening.
What you feel is perfectly normal
You’re not alone. I felt relieved that many people go through the same thing, and I wasn’t struggling with it alone. I thought I was just dramatic. It turns out many people on Youtube make statements about dealing with the quarter-life crisis. It makes me more normal in my situation and what I’m feeling is not uncommon with the rest of the world.
Just embrace the crisis and pressure. Understand why you’re feeling this way. Honestly? It’s healthy to question yourself when you’re having a quarter-life crisis, but don’t let it overkill you. It means you can think for yourself, and you’re serious about living a successful life. It’s very ambitious.
Don’t compare your life with someone else.
Those who got married at 25 may get a divorce five years later. Those who started a family at the age of 25 may live in an abusive household. Those who are in a relationship may get cheated five years later. Just because people got their sh*t together in life doesn’t mean they’re happy with their life.
It’s honestly better to wait for the right time than get in a hurry for the sake of peer pressure and following up with the crowd. Being unready and hurrying up is the worst mistake you can make to yourself.
The most important thing is just to stay active and productive in your life, and everything will be alright.
You still have a life ahead of you.
J.K. Rowling published her first book at the age of 32. After that, her dream career of being a writer and author became successful. The career of your dream can arrive in your 30’s, too. You just got to be patient because you have SO MUCH to live for. Honestly, as long as you’re staying productive and active in achieving your goals, you’ll be fine as long as you trust the process. Don’t worry about how it’s going to happen. That’s up to God or the Universe to find out. You just do what you got to do to stay active. The rest is up to God or the Universe. Don’t stress about the “how” and “when.” The more you think about the “how” and “when,” the more you’ll add resistance to your life.
Erase these words out of your mind.
Being 25 is not the end of the world.
It’s the beginning of your world.
You’re just getting started.
Thank you for reading my article!
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