You Owe You
There is a fine line between self-love and self-centeredness, that people might often mix up the two concepts and end up being either harsh on themselves or on others.
Think of how supportive, concerned, loving and kind you would be to your best friend, and now try treating yourself with that same kindness and love. Imagine all the compliments you might say to a stranger; now try to be that nice to yourself, try to become your own best friend and treat yourself kindly rather than harshly.
The reason why I decided to tackle this subject is that we often find ourselves lost in this life, trying to seek happiness in different ways, but might overlook the fact that happiness starts within.
It starts by accepting and loving who we are in order to be able to give love to people we care about. We live under the stress that we always need to explain ourselves, justify our decisions, why we were made that way, why we did this and that.
On top of that; the bitter reality is that we try to conform in different ways and impress people around us, rather than feeling contented and satisfied with ourselves and comfortable with who or where or what we are.
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” ― Maya Angelou
I have known people who weren’t able to quit their jobs even when they were unhappy, just because they thought they owe their employers.
Some were stuck in long-term abusive miserable relationships believing that they can’t move forward, claiming that they owe their partners and that’s what kept them stuck in there forever.
In most cases, such acts don’t come out of love, rather from lack of love to ourselves. That we fear leaving our comfort zones and believe that we would owe an explanation to the world if we move one inch out of it.
Since we are all unique individuals with different ambitions, values, dreams, and aspirations, our priorities will always be different from the next person’s.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you determine is your core priority in life. Bear in mind that this is your OWN personal business and no one else’s.
And always remind yourself that you can’t control how everyone judges you, but you can control how you judge yourself.
Be good to yourself physically and mentally
Know what is good for your mind and body, and treat yourself accordingly. Eat healthy, exercise and meditate.
I’ve been doing a two minutes morning exercise. Every morning; I write what I will let go of, things I am grateful for and finally what I will focus on (achievable goals for the day). Try it! It’s a good reminder to ourselves of all the things mentioned earlier :)
Be present and mindful
We are either caught in the past or in the future. We are not here in the present moment, that’s why we aren’t living your lives sincerely.
Life is like a roller-coaster that we are all ought to go through all of its ups and downs.
Pay more attention to your inner-self and accept any negative or positive feelings you’d experience along the way instead of pushing these emotions away, because they’re in there either way, and pushing these emotions away only gives you a harder time in carrying them in your heart.
I have to say that yoga helped me be more thoughtful, focused and mindful.
It depends on where you are on this ladder, but it used to take me more energy to be more present in the moment and pay more attention to what I do, how I feel and what I think of, once I got aware of this situation, the energy spent drastically decreased.
Reminder: give yourself those little breaks you need from time to time. Try to understand where you get your inner peace from.
Learn how to say no!
Do you have a hard time saying “No” either to work, friends, activities or outings?
We might think we would be mean if we say “No” or reject things out; conversations we don’t feel like participating in. But, there is always a way for a polite “No”. Setting out those boundaries helps you express self-compassionate in a healthy way that harms no one and protects you at the same time.
It’s okay if you’re not there yet, I am not either. But make sure to master this art!
Remember that; you don’t owe anyone a yes when you need to say no.
Above all, be true to yourself. One of the things I have learned along the way is that you owe no one any explanation of any decision you take in order to seek their validation or support to only be yourself.
We might feel the urge to do so; to avoid being judged, but remember you’re always judged and always labeled by someone out there, and there is nothing you can do about it to protect yourself, but to allow yourself to dream big, and to pursue your dreams; without contaminating these dreams with judgments of others.
Remember you just owe YOU!
