Pool of Desire
To be fair if I was anymore naïve I would call it something else.
I would call it love.
But it’s not that, it’s obsession.
My own personal pool of desire, and god do I love the feel of its fire.
It threatens to claim me day by day,
pulling me slightly, even forcefully into it’s vortex.
Under that water I’m cradled, with strangled velvet around my neck,
and when I look up he hovers waiting,
Yes!
Just above he’s always there ready.
Ready to push me back under ever so gently.
I look forward to it too,
I love how it feels
The relentlessness of it all
How there are no ideas of freedom to be found down there.
It’s empty…that’s true, but scorching away at me with possibilities.
Except…..
Except I’ve grown up now,
and this time its different,
because I know,
How I don’t want that for myself and I don’t want that for you.
So I go,
I’ll go and stay gone,
I say this but he laughs
He laughs…
and with a smirk tells me all these dramatics won’t work.
The joke to me isn’t funny, but he sees it for what it is,
a hilarious escape,
the epitome of my own self sabotage
and he won’t let it go.
Surprisingly he waits,
waits through all the hysterics
a kind stare while I pull myself together.
He was laughing before and tells me why.
“You got it all wrong, we’re closer than that now,
we’re no longer here or there
but a ship thats branched off into outer space on an entirely new voyage.
What we share is bigger than that still,
a newly birthed settlement waiting to be claimed by one of the brave few”
So im not let go, not this time
not entirely.
Although I step away and go far far away from that pool,
its only for now
and when I do look back a chord holds to me still,
tight and unsevered, but without that deadly pull.
Thank you for reading, here is another recommended piece below if you liked this one.
