There is No Escape from Yourself

Two SpaceX rockets lifting off from their command location.
Photo by SpaceX on Unsplash

I’ve tried.

Tried to…
Attempted to —
Get away
From myself.

Somewhere different;
A change of scenery,
A place other than where
I stood and took up space.

I tried, and tried;
But still, I returned to where I was
In the same place, as the same
Person
Before I even tried.

A new drug,
A new gender,
A new idea,
A new friend or two…
Still the same; no matter I tried.

No matter where I went
How far I got from where
I began
I was there to greet me
Once I arrived.

Others tell you,
At least some do,
Those who really know,
What this is.

They’ll tell you:

“Even if you try,
You won’t win.
Because,
Once your eyes close
There in the darkness —
You only have yourself.
There,
You are
Fully illuminated.”

At the edge of an ocean,
Upon the shore I now stand.
The water goes back and forth,
In and out.
I wish I could be a paper boat;
Taken from here, sent out there.
To somewhere… anywhere
Different, than here.

But…
That would be just another
Try
And fail.
Same thing, just another
Failed attempt.
The same truth,
The same reality,
Found again
Somewhere else.
Never escaped before
With each try
So why would this be
Any different?

So why even
Keep trying…

Why?

Because I must.
I must…
Keep trying.

A constant lack of progress can feel defeating. Many of us will walk away from our gifts and accept that this will never happen. However, some will return, and over time they will continue to tinker with whatever they set out to achieve because their hope can never fully stay dormant or dominated by their despair.

So… keep trying.

Be well, my friends.
— MT

— Source —

SpaceX, S. X. (2018, February 6). twom white flying rockets during daytime [Photograph]. Unsplash. https://unsplash.com/photos/MEW1f-yu2KI

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Moony Thinker

Moony Thinker

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Writer, poet, blogger, promoter of fellow artists, and drinking a healthy 32 cups of coffee per day! INFP — T (AF!); Chaotic Neutral FTW!