These are Things That I Hate

You might think some of them are really great, I will not hold that against you, go forth and be you, boo.

Image by Glauco Gianoglio from Pixabay

My apologies to Dr. Seuss.
With who I’m playing fast and loose,
I would like to think I am very clever,
You yourself were such a smart fella.

I will not do these things with you,
I will not do them with the flu,
I will not do any of these,
I will not do them if I freeze.

I will not do them in a chair,
I will not do them with great flair,
I will not do them if you call,
I will not do them at the mall.

I will not do them if you hope,
I will not do them with the Pope,
I will not do them here or there,
I will not do them anywhere.

So without any further ado,
I am going to share with you,
All this stuff that I really hate,
Did you take my well-planned bait?


I have never yet met a play I like,
I do not want to take the mike,
I do not want to act in plays,
I do not want to watch this craze.


Please explain this shit to me,
People who go on a singing spree,
I do not like that awful noise,
Even if it’s done with great poise.


I don’t care what sound the music makes,
Or who little Orphan Annie hates,
I wish the Von Trapp family well,
But musicals are made for hell.


I will not do a stupid dance,
with those pirates of Penzance,
I hate Patch the Pirate’s songs,
With their lessons about right and wrong.


I hate that stupid Alice book,
And Peter Pan and Captain Hook,
I do not like that Wonderland,
I will not go to Neverland.


Most of the classical literature sucks,
I do not care who Romeo fucks,
Jane Austen bores me to tears,
I’ve avoided classics for many years.


I will not join your masquerade,
I will not be in your parade,
I will not stay and reenact,
I’ll put the costumes back in their sack.


I do not like those superheroes,
I do not care where Batman goes,
Releasing them in LEGO form,
When did this shit become the norm?


I do not watch those Looney Tunes,
I have never liked cartoons,
Despite my family mocking me,
I am now cartoon free.

Sanitized Bullshit

There are some neat and tidy stories,
From boring people in their forties,
Sanitized stories make me want to hurl,
Real life makes conservaties clutch their pearls.



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MaryClare StFrancis, M.A.

MaryClare StFrancis, M.A.


She/her. I write memoirs, feature articles, essays, poetry, and more.