This essay is my longest essay for the need is grave as captured in the image below, If you can complete this, you will complete all others too. Also when I am attaching an item in my essays from outside, it is not due to the propaganda represented through the title or cover photo, but du
My own god theory from my first Samadhi, in 2011
The background scores were by Infected Mushroom. I started listening to him that night of the trip while being very close to the speakers mounted on the wall. I wanted to be so close to the music that I actually stood on top of the study table, only to find myself on the marble floor sitting in the lotus asana a few hours later. When I reached back my body experience, it was already daylight.
Let me take you back to what had happened that night right from when it started to happen. I was with a dear friend called Dhi, traveling back from the Ashoka Hotel in New Delhi. We were carrying some of the most potent LSD I had ever experienced. Fortunately, before dropping it into our mouths we had no idea how potent it was going to be, both of us (I and Dhi) had about 2.5 drops each. Little did we know where it would take us. Well, I can’t be too sure about her trip but I can tell you about mine word by word.
I know, to all those who have found me talking against drug use are wondering, why LSD. I was about 25 and got a taste of counter-culture. I had my share of it. However, soon after I learned that to go into samadhi, no substance is required. That was the last time I touched a substance like that, for I didn’t feel the need. I had become fluid.
Why am I writing about this story in an essay which is slightly political?
Because I use this experience as a reference point for my belief in the boundlessness of the life we got, in this human form as an antenna and processor. To some extent, I do feel that my understanding of boundlessness has added to my attempt to building Preseed without any haste common to a capitalist. Where I have chosen to spend time in genuinely imagining what really helps humanity, for neither is religion helping nor is material science helping. Politics is definitely making matters worse. And let me not get even started with the follies of how the Indian constitution is executed.
Without the freedom of the body, there is no freedom of the mind and that night my body felt free, almost like water. I am not sure if I could attribute this event as the event that coincidentally happened around the times I was getting started towards a journey of ‘no material’ due to having spent all I got into building my first idea. The idea of a social network of action in 2009. With that liberation/failure/loss of money I truly was made free to wander once again, this time with nothing but just I and my body. The mind over the next few months felt more freed than ever before.
On the journey to liberate the mind how can we ignore the body.
One of the quotes by BKS Iyengar I once stumbled upon read something like this — “freedom of the mind is the concept in theory without the freedom of the body”. I have just begun to understand how true it is.
That night, my body was perhaps one with the air I was breathing. Prior to that, I got one with the music I was listening to. I have no idea however, how I got on the floor to be sitting like a buddha, for hours. What I can be sure about that my body was unlocked. That unlocking made me dance, not only that night, but every single time I lost myself to music, I danced like no one around me could fathom. I can now become music with music, finally. I can dance to show you music. Perhaps the mind was freed of all it’s inhibitions as I shut my eyes and let the vibe of the music be felt by my body, the vessel, just like how the glass on a table would respond to bass.
This event was just the trigger to something more profound waiting for me one year down when I was in Goa.
Note-: This is just my perception of what I experienced. I was not enlightened to fully understand what this really was, just yet, or may be...
Out of body, no LSD, pot or even beer, just Goa and emptiness. Was it Prarabdha?
This event in goa was it, the final trigger to an undying spiritual curiosity
I recently got an email from a friend
I had earlier written in my post ‘out of body’ about how I could really become music with music. In December of 2011 I reached Goa and fell in love with it.
I came back to Delhi in January 2012 and wrote this —
What I am trying to say is that this time I was again music with music from 10 pm onwards till 8 am. Not dancing all this while, I was at some point sitting like a rock on the beach. I have no idea when I left my body. I wouldn’t have come back if I was not woken up. I was woken up from my astral travel by the owners of the cafe by the beach, or else I would have gone perhaps. This was the beginning of my journey to Samadhi, but I was brought back a little too early. Perhaps this is also prarabhda.
Prarabdha Karma are the part of sanchita karma, a collection of past karmas, which are ready to be experienced through…
Anyway, let me tell you what this astral projection was like. It was like nothing. I was in a blank sky, just that when I was woken up, for a millisecond perhaps I was surprised to be a human. When I saw the faces of the people who woke me up, I saw stress in them. They said worryingly, “where were you”, “what did you have last night”. I said, “I don’t know where I was, but I assure you I had nothing last night. I just remember I was dancing”. (They were perhaps referring to the yogi medicine LSD, which I didn’t even touch in Goa. I was in harmony without that by now. I don’t need LSD or alcohol to get high to the realms of the vast cosmos. I need meditation to get there.
As I seemed back in a human state enough to another man, he approached me very gently. He was bald, dark, heavily bearded and very soft spoken. He asked me if I know what Kundalini is.
I, of course, didn’t know what Kundalini is, although he gave me his explanation because he had read about it earlier and for the first time he got a chance to see through me what it is to be in that strange state of , first serpent like movements for hours and then being still like a rock. Well that is what he saw my body doing. Inside my body there was nothing. I was gone, so I don’t really know what was going on with my body. I just know that I felt like I was the waves of the ocean. Those waves also move like serpents.
I am still inquiring into this event or witnessing fractals to dropping as non matter. I will conclude it in 10 years or so.
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What happened to me in Goa was different from what happened to me in my bed room in Noida in the sense that I didn’t experience a soul traveling out of my body into the cosmic space. I however experienced the same kind of visuals and liberation as long as I was in that state of meditation.
It sometimes make me wonder about the hindu concept of the same soul having lived in all life forms before it attains the life form of a human. How could a soul truly be liberated from the cage of the body to realise the universe as it’s own self without having the experience of the creations of this universe, one life form at a time. How can I play the guitar in harmony with the drums played by my fellow drummer without having the knowledge of guitar’s sounds. And without the knowldge and experience of it, I can’t graduate to playing the guitar in complete harmony with a drummer who is far far better than my own band’s drummer, while playing at his highest form.
So without being a cockroach once, my soul couldn’t have evolved to the form that is more evolved than the cockroach’s form and then at some birth taking a form of a bird, then a tiger, then, an ape and after having graduated with the experience of all that was inferior to the human form can I truly be ready to take a human form, for that is how natural evolution seems to be like.
Anyway, now since the human form is a form that can take us to being in a state of meditation, meaning, state of self realization in a way that no other form has perhaps. May be it has something to do with the formation of the pineal gland with the body like ours, a body, which can respond in too many ways as a response to the triggers of the mind. And it could sit in that lotus asana basically, the root posture to maximise the impact of the air we breathe, to the insides of our body perhaps, perhaps the chakras are most stimulated in this posture. May be it is about that alignment of the chakras of our body with those of the earth, that which is alligned in a certain way in the universal scheme of things.
So now since we have this form, I find it worth being on a journey to self realisation. I don’t think I have covered any ground on this journey yet, apart from 2 events of feeling timeless and bodyless without being asleep. The only time when I will truly reach the state of self realisation will I know. It may happen in this lifetime or may take several more years of my souls evolution in human form till it can truly get readied for liberation. Basically, only in the state of enlightenment will I truly know. However, I will keep writing on medium, about whatever views I develop over a period of this spiritual journey till my soul gets enlightened to attain moksha.
I will not only write but I will also create startups for karma, dharma and seva. To know more about this, wait till I create the web page of Preseeded.
— — — -
Is my body a mere vessel?
It breathes the vibe of the universe with every inhalation
When I first imagined that the brain may be a receiver where the real experience , it made an impression on me, but I didn’t truly understand what could it mean in totality -
1. For our brain to be a mere receiver.
2. To have a core in the universe we obtain knowledge from.
Over the last 2 years I have come to understand (1), and about the (2) I am still on that journey. Over this journey I may have at least come to understand a bit about samadhi, enlightenment, moksha, kundalini and simply put — being without the breath for a really long period of time, not forced stopping of the breath. The meditation-induced gradual stopping of the breath should be the start of the journey to samadhi, leading to enlightenment which the gurus refer to as the event of all knowledge.
What is this event of all knowledge or enlightenment?
I don’t completely understand it but I will write about it anyway and publish it, because that will make me wonder more. That is the thing with writing, you can’t write well till you can explain it well; and you can’t explain well till you truly understand it.
My little to no understanding of this topic tells me that when I become silenced and I am breathing, I am breathing only the vibration of the universe that exists as it exists without really perceiving it. That vibration could also be earth bound sounds of the car honk next to my park. That vibration could also be the vibration of the creations of all kinds from the beginning of time. I can only become receptive to those vibrations if I can empty my own mind of all kinds of prior understandings and perception, atleast in that prolonged moment of silence. Through the inhalations now, I will breathe in not my own thoughts but the vibrations around me and through the exhalation I will give out the same, while the vibration will pass through the insides of my body, so, if there was music that I was breathing in from the speaker next to my body, the vibration of that music may move my body without I moving my body.
So if I remain in that state of meditation for hours, would I not have taken in a lot of knowledge in form of vibrations without adding my human cognition to it, at least while I am receiving it, unadulterated. Thereafter, I could add my cognition to what I received to let it manifest with my soul’s touch to it.
In this state of meditation there happens an event when the soul leaves the body and becomes one with what is being inhaled through the breath, I think it is on this journey that it truly becomes one with the universe but if it did, how then does one experience it for the one experiencing it has now become the experience itself. May be there is an element of ego that remains that still keeps you separate from merging with the universal vibe. I think when this separation of the soul after it having gone out of the body vanishes it truly becomes one with the entire vibe of the universe, the soul of the universe, also known as god perhaps. It can’t really be one with it, without being in harmony with it. It is in this journey of achieving ultimate harmony a lot is understood in mere vibrations, for every knowledge was once a form of energy whether spoken or acted upon or written or thought of, which the soul becomes one with for that vibration still exists and will always exist, we just got to tap into it.
I recently also made a post on facebook that resonates with this write up of mine!
And may I say, it’s a catalysing movement towards a fundamental desire of not just humans but any particle atomic vibration — Freedom.
The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both. — Carl Sagan
I want to go a step further and say that science, spirituality, and politics must become mutually inclusive. A policy that is not scientific towards a goal of human harmony, must be discarded.
Let us say the right things that bring people together:
Having said all of the above, I want you to never forget:
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own concepts. For more on this click the above link.
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dream state (active unconcious) is not a turiya state, that you think of it as God’s intervention.
My idea of lord is different from Iskon’s, that is why I find it difficult to use the world lord/pray.
Mine is, sum total of non matter and matter and it has nothing to do with a benevolent lord. Of course thought waves have an impact on non matter. So prayers are fine. The intent is enough however.
And my realisation of it all came from Samadhi (non matter) not Krisna or lord. So I tend to not use words like pray/lord. To the contrary I say, silence the mind, through observation of sound, thought and breath.
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Made of all topics covered in my medium essays.