A Complete Mitchunderstanding
A day in the life, 1st Period — Mitchell Marner, Toronto Maple Leafs
I could feel my mind beginning to rouse but my body was not yet ready to wake up. I was far too comfortable. So, I rolled over and put my arm around my wife, taking full advantage of some extra cuddle time.
“You looking to add to last night’s point streak there, champ?”
My head jerked back reflexively at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. My eyes popped open. Blonde. BLONDE? WHAT THE FU–! WHO WAS THIS?
My mind was reeling at how this strange woman got into our bed. Was it the neighbour in the next townhouse? Did she stumble home drunk and walk into the wrong unit? Except… this wasn’t our bed. These weren’t our sheets. This wasn’t our comforter.
Panic fell over me as I backed away, falling out of bed with a thud. I’m not sure if it was the impact of hitting the floor that caused me to momentarily forget my situation when I noticed the pair of light blue boxers I was wearing. Boxers? I don’t even own boxers. Well, except for my Maple Leafs’ boxers from my fat days that I can only now wear over my pants, and do, for playoff reasons. Otherwise, I only own and wear boxer briefs and I definitely wouldn’t wear them to bed.
