The Casual’s Guide to the 2023 NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference Edition
(And play-in tournament)
This is it.
The final games of the regular season are petering out. Last second calibrations are being made to each bracket. Many teams have been sent home for the rest of the season, leaving them to join us fans in watching the tournament that will decide this year’s kings of the court.
20 teams will enter. But in the end, only one will go down in history.
Only one will hoist the golden chalice that they’ve spent the entire year scratching and clawing their way towards.
Only one will taste the sweetness of victory, while nineteen others will endure the bitter taste of defeat. To come so close, yet end up so far.
With the play-in tournament scheduled to begin on April 11, let’s take a look at the teams representing the Eastern Conference!
The Milwaukee Bucks
The Beast in the East
With the number one seed in the East, the Bucks are in a familiar place. They have enjoyed several winning seasons, and are only a few years removed from being crowned champions. This year brings back memories of that triumphant year. The core of Giannis Antetokounmpo, Jrue Holiday, and Khris Middleton are a formidable as ever. They can hurt you from ever inch of the hardwood. Standing shoulder to shoulder with them are several key pieces including bruising center Brook Lopez, the adaptable small forward Jae Crowder, and quiet sniper Bobby Portis. This team is built to go the distance, and has proven that it looks as good on the court as it does on paper. One of the favourites, and for damn good reason.
The Boston Celtics
The Green Giant Chasing the Golden Goose…
Despite such a turbulent year headlined by the loss of head coach Ime Udoka as a result of an off-court scandal, the Celtics have remained a powerhouse in the east. Up until recently, they were the top seed in the conference. Like Milwaukee, the Celtics have a notorious trio in Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown, and Marcus Smart that are sure to give any and every team that matches up with them a tall task. Unlike the Bucks however, the Celtics do have a notable point of emphasis that can either be their saviour or their false messiah. Their shooting. The Celtics rely heavily on their outside scoring prowess, attempting approximately 42 three-pointers a night and making just over a third of them. If the rain comes down with abundance, the Celtics are nigh unbeatable. But if there is a drought? I fear this team will wither into ash, even with their excellent defense.
The Philadelphia 76ers
Have I Ever Told You The Definition of Insanity….
Yet again, the 76ers enter the playoffs with an excellent record, with superstar Joel Embiid once again making a strong case to be crowned MVP. Co-star James Harden has been pretty good as well, averaging over 20 points and around 10 assists a game. And while this season (and the last few to be fair) have desensitized us to these sorts of stats, the fact remains that this dynamic duo more than lives up to the billing.
But we’ve seen this movie before.
Harden’s playoff track record is frankly abysmal. He’s a force of nature at the start of a playoff series à la The Hulk, but the moment game 2 comes around, he morphs into Bruce Banner. Still brilliant don’t get me wrong. But you need more than brilliance to succeed in the playoffs. As far as Embiid is concerned, the big man’s main foe will likely not be any he sees on the court but rather one he’s been battling his entire career: durability. Philadelphia is decently well rounded but let’s not kid ourselves. This team has made it very obvious that they rely heavily on their star center.
Will this be the year that ‘the process’ is finally realized? Or will it be another exercise in insanity? Personally, I would bet on the latter.
The Cleveland Cavaliers
Along came a Spida…
The Cavaliers have assembled quite the squad of players. I won’t call them Avengers just yet, but they have a certified superhero in Donovan Mitchell and a few on the rise in Darius Garland Jarrett Allen. Surprisingly, this team’s ace in the hole is its defense, not its offense. But in a league where just about every sword is razor sharp, perhaps what’s most needed is a sturdy shield.
The Cleveland Cavaliers will not be an easy matchup for anyone. Though I have doubts about how far they can go. I can look higher up the standings and see a pair of teams in green that will be coming to take this team’s head off, with many spectators assuming that they will succeed in doing so. Ultimately, I know for a fact that every member of this army will ride into battle with lances drawn, and the only way to deny them the gold they seek is to send them home on their shields. I only hope that these brash young knights do not adopt the lack of concern that has defined many a Cavalier over the course of history.
The New York Knicks
New York Stand up(?)
It’s showtime in ‘The Garden!’ After missing last year’s tourney, the Knicks are back in playoff contention. Their performance has surprised me, mainly in how consistent they have been and how they have performed in comparison to the next entry in this article. The Knicks are a good team. That cannot be denied. But they are far from a comfortable position. Their first round matchup is going to be quite a difficult one, and things will only get harder for them if they get past the first round. ‘The City that Never Sleeps’ will surely be excited to see what noise their team can make this year, but on a scale of ‘bang to whimper,’ I don’t think that New Yorkers will need to be buying any auditory protection any time soon.
The Brooklyn Nets
What could have been…
It almost seems cruel. Watching a healthy stallion bred to leave all the others in the dust break a leg. Only to pick itself back up, regain its stride…and then break another leg. Only to somehow resume the race crawling…and end up with an anchor on its back that does little if anything on the court and is more akin to a flashy saddle that rides the bench.
The Tragedy of the Brooklyn Nets is a documentary-worthy saga (one I just might cover myself one day). The mere fact that this team made it to this point is one of the biggest shockers of the year. Jacque Vaughn deserves a bouquet of the finest roses for the work he’s done to keep this ship sailing despite how many times it was seemingly scuttled. But there comes a time that every doomed vessel eventually takes on too much water to float. And I believe the first round will be the sinking point for Brooklyn. I wouldn’t mind being proven wrong, and I consider myself an optimistic captain. But if I was at the helm of the S.S Nets, I’d be telling the crew to ready the lifeboats…
The Miami Heat
Waning Flame
Earlier I spoke about how a sturdy shield could be the best weapon in a battlefield filled of razor sharp swords. But when your own blade is as blunt as a globe, how do you win a battle?
Blunt force trauma could work. But you’re going to be waiting a long time. And you’d better hope your armour is sturdy enough to withstand the assault you will be facing in the meantime.
The Miami Heat are the best in the league at stopping opposing offenses from racking up baskets, while at the same time being the worst at putting points on the board themselves. Jimmy Butler and Bam Adebayo are a potent combination, but can you really rely on them to carry you on both ends, series after series? I don’t think so. Their shooters are streaky, and while they can occasionally light the floor up with a salvo of shots, having even one blank in the chamber during a gunfight can spell disaster for a cowboy. The Heat better make sure their six-shooters are polished, locked, and loaded. Because even the hardiest armour can be worn down. And all it takes is one well placed shot to take them out of the hunt.
The Atlanta Hawks
Flying Close to the Sun with Wax Wings
Live by the sword, die by the sword. That is the mantra of the Atlanta Hawks. Over the course of the season, many of their games have descended into shootouts where the hotter hands and longer magazines have dictated who ultimately won the night.
The Hawks are one of the highest scoring offenses in the league. But their big guns are clearly marked. ‘Ice’ Trae Young can be one of the hottest scores on any given night, but even he will have slumps. That’s not a price the Hawks will be able to afford more than a few times this playoffs. And if Dejounte Murray also has a bad night? The hawks might as well be geese because they’re going to be cooked.
The Toronto Raptors
Wounded Raptors
Achilles was a warrior without equal. Lethal with just about any arms. Hell, even barehanded he was scarcely challenged and never outright unmatched. Yet for all his abilities and offensive prowess, the man still had a vulnerable heel. Ultimately Achilles’ heel was his undoing, leading to his fall at the hands of a man viewed by many as inferior even to his own brother.
The Raptors are the Paris to many of the ‘Achilles’ teams in the NBA. They seem to have no glaring flaws, but by the same token they do not have a speciality or edge that puts them over the edge. They have a star player in Pascal Siakam. They have young players growing into their roles in Scottie Barnes and OG Anunoby. They have shooters in Gary Trent Jr. and Fred VanVleet (though I don’t view him in as favourably a light as I did in previous years). They have a litany of players that can guard all positions. And yet they have barely made the play-in tournament. I wish this team was as good in practice as it seems on paper. But the sad reality is it is not. I ride with my Raptors. But in my heart of heart’s I know that this team is not destined for glory, save a miracle run occurring that will be spoken about in hushed tones of reverence for years to come.
The Chicago Bulls
A Bull-Turned Steer
It may seem harsh to say the Bulls have been neutered. But the truth hurts sometimes.
Their duo of DeMar DeRozan and Zach Lavine is still great. But outside of those two, no name really springs to mind. They’re not a high flying offense, nor are they a stone-cold defensive juggernaut. They’re okay. Which is the worst trait you can have in the NBA playoffs. Having a bad hand in a card game is one thing. But not having an ace in the hole that can be bail you out of a tough spot can be even worse.
The Bulls have pulled up the big boy table and no doubt have dreams of winning the whole pot. But it’s hard to win when you don’t have a hand to stand on. Unfortunately, everyone is playing for keeps. Someone is going to force the Bulls to go all in. And in their current state, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re cleaned out sooner rather than later.
