Presents

A common question can often lead to unexpected answers, even those that the person being asked would not have given five minutes prior. That’s the case right now. In between typing “common question” and “can often lead” I had an idea, scrapped whatever I was about to write (may it rest in peace), and am now making up these word-shaped road signs as I go along, wondering when I’ll even address that idea I spoke of two lines above. Now; the end goal of my writing is to surprise myself. And surprise myself I have, because I had no idea where that paragraph was going until that last sentence.

In a way this is a bit odd, but right now it makes perfect sense. Also, to answer your question, yes, I am making this up as I go along so please bear with me. Human beings change every day, especially at such a young age. As a twenty-one year old man I still have quite a bit of mental development left to do. So, my answer may change a day, a week, a year down the line. Yet right now my end goal for writing is to surprise myself. We know what to expect of our bodies and our actions; if you attempt to tickle yourself, you’ll find that it’s almost impossible. Yet none of us have any idea what to expect from our minds. A brilliant ideas and an intrusive thought are both equally surprising. This is one of the myriad reasons I love writing. When sitting down in front of a blank page or screen, the infinite possibilities of twenty-six letters are there for the taking. I never know what the next line will be until it pops into my head, and in this uncertainty there is a sense of magic. If I ever begin writing in a formulaic sense, or if writing fails to excite me, then I will have failed in my goal. Achieving this goal is a lifelong commitment. There is no finish line, no podium or trophy or contract that will, once attained, allow me to rest. I simply use my writing to explore myself and continue to develop intellectually and emotionally.

Following this train of thought, let’s address some of my more concrete goals. Yes I hope to publish my work someday, be it my poetry or prose. Yes I hope to have other people enjoy my writing, telling me that it meant something to them, that my words resonated with a certain frequency in their souls and that I have affected them in a way that only words can. Yes I would love to make money by writing (outside of the business world, which I already do). Yes to all of these things and more. I want to learn more about the publishing process, as well as how to navigate the seemingly endless seas of publishing houses and literary journals in order to narrow down where to submit my work. These are all things that will help me to advance my career and continue doing what I love. However, as I began typing the first paragraph of this mini-essay, I thought through all of these manifestations of my desires in relation to the written word and realized them all to be secondary. That is quite a romantic notion, but when I write, I write for myself. An offbeat metaphor or a Homeric epithet may not sell well, but I’ll be damned if I don’t love to pepper them throughout my work. In the end, even if none of my work is ever published anywhere other than on my personal blog, writing will have given me far more than I have asked of it.

So, my goal is to continue to surprise myself and explore my own mental development. Writing has given me ideas and perceptions of the world that I never would have considered or developed otherwise. The simple act of placing words on paper and translating my thoughts into sentences allows a physical aspect into my thought process. In writing a poem or a piece of prose, I unveil things in my mind that I never knew were there. It is a bit like unwrapping a present. Beneath the wrapping paper and bow there could be anything; the only way to find out what is to tear in and see what is inside. Yes, getting published will give me a sense of accomplishment, a larger audience, and God willing a paycheck, but the true goal of my writing is to explore myself and to continuously strive to grow one letter at a time.